The picture I posted yesterday for Wordless Wednesday was this month’s Easter photo. Bray and I just stare at that picture in amazement – at these beautiful wonderful children that we couldn’t have imagined. When I left off in our story, at Part 2, we had endured three failed IUIs. Before we started down the IVF path, my college roommate came for a visit. She’s one of the most amazing people I know. Despite all that life has thrown at her, and it has been unreal at times what she has endured, she has such a positive outlook on things and a strong resilient faith. I don’t know if I would have been as strong in her shoes.
So this unbelievable person who’s been in my life since 1991 came for the weekend. We had such a great time hanging out at my house and catching up. I shared a lot of my struggle with her. She said something that really stuck with me. I had pulled up to the airport drop off and she said, I know this is hard. But God has the exact perfect person that He’s going to bring into you and Bray’s lives. Each month is a different egg and a different sperm and they would make a different baby. Each month it’s a different person. God is waiting because He already knows which egg and which sperm He needs to make the baby to bring into your family.
This picture, this description, rooted in my soul. It’s what I held onto in the months and years of disappointment to come. I knew that God had a plan. I fought it sometimes. I struggled immeasurably. I became depressed and faithless at times. But I always heard her voice in my head. God used her to tell me that the people He wanted to join our family just hadn’t arrived yet.
As I looked at that picture last night, I still heard her voice. And as I saw their little faces shining back at me I knew that these were the EXACT people that were supposed to be a part of our family. These were the babies that God wanted me to have. He designed them specifically for us. And I couldn’t love them anymore. And I couldn’t love Him anymore for making me wait for them. They were worth every single heartache and disappointment that we suffered. They are worth all of that and more.