A wise friend told me, after I was married, to see a fertility specialist if I didn’t get pregnant within six months of trying. She shared her story of trying for a couple of years with her husband before ever going to a specialist and then finding there was something seriously wrong.
Because we were in our 30s when we got married, we started trying to get pregnant a few months after our wedding. And promptly after six months of trying, we went to get checked out by a specialist, “just to make sure.” Shortly after that appointment, we were asked to come back to meet with the doctor about the results. We figured that wasn’t great news. Turns out, there were some problems. At the conclusion of the visit, we were given the verdict – “you have a 3 – 5% chance of ever getting pregnant on your own.” Then we were given options – drugs, IUI, IVF, and an assortment of other alphabet run downs.
It honestly had never occurred to us that we would be one of the millions of couples that struggled with getting pregnant. We just assumed, like so many other happy newlyweds, that children would come. And children were a HUGE part of the picture we both had in our heads of our life together. In fact, we really couldn’t imagine not being parents, we’d both wanted to be parents for a long time. We relished our role as cool aunt and uncle, but we were ready for the next step.
We had some long talks. I remember our walks through the neighborhood, a very family friendly one, trying to figure out what we should do, praying about what God would want us to do. After some deliberation, we opted for the least invasive option only, the IUI, before we would consider doing anything more significant. The doctor said that gave us a 15% chance. Not exactly the best odds in Vegas. But I believed, and still believe, we serve a big God who can turn water into wine and raise Lazarus from the dead, so 15% isn’t anything – He’s used to working with 0% odds.
So off we went. Three rounds. April 2007, May 2007 and October 2007. Nothing. I’ve never seen so many negative pregnancy tests and spent that much money on such disappointment. I was heartbroken. And starting to gain some weight. And running through all these questions about my faith.
We were still happy. Loving our life as a newlywed couple. Traveling around the country. Enjoying our freedom and discretionary income. But waiting. Waiting on a plus sign.