“PLEASE do a ‘worst of’ Fashion Friday post,” came the message, complete with examples of What Were They Thinking? I get these messages from my friend, Dana, periodically. They never cease to crack me up or make me wonder what people were thinking? Not only the designers, but the insane people purchasing products just because it’s “on trend.” (Lord help us!)
The messages and links to spectacularly bad fashion from Dana come with tag lines like:
Am I being punked?
It’s like the fake news people got into fashion.
And on and on. She cracks me up.
So this post is filled with doozies from Dana and a few I found pretty astonishing as well. Don’t let What Were They Thinking fashion happen to you:
Clear Plastic ‘Jeans’ – Y’all, if you are wearing a Ziploc baggie on your legs, they are not jeans. I’m sorry. Even if the supplier says they are jeans, in fact you are wearing a Ziploc baggie. Don’t do it. Use them for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, not fashion. Period.
Fake Mud Jeans – I know all you moms saw this. You thought, after all these years of trying to scrub the mud out of our boys jeans because they insist on finding every mud puddle known to man, we can now sell them for a profit.
Y’all, I say y’all when I get frustrated by stupid fashion (it’s better than some words I could use!), don’t buy pretend dirty clothes. People with any fashion sense want their clothes to be, and look, clean. Nordstrom, I recommend you too often for you to be selling faking mud jeans for over $400 – pull it together.
Leggings for Work – Mercy friends, sisters, y’all! I know, I know, but I can’t write a bad fashion post without mentioning leggings, the bane of all good women’s fashion in my little old-fashioned book.
The linked article features leggings you can wear to work, but they would be wrong. Just because leggings have a tuxedo stripe down the leg, they are not work appropriate. It actually makes them stupid because who needs a tuxedo stripe on their leggings because you should only be doing yoga in them? (Okay, sorry for the strong language. But this is one of my biggest pet peeves in fashion – leggings as appropriate for everything – but they’re NOT!) And these with the glitter on bottom? For work?! I can’t even find the words…
Embellished Varsity Jacket – For a mere $800 (WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?!?!), you my fully grown adult friend can own an embellished denim varsity jacket. This is not only NOT work appropriate, it’s likely going to make people think you should be arrested for dating someone in high school. This is not their only offering, I might add. They have a tacky reversible varsity jacket as well as a satin shrunken varsity jacket. Don’t do this.
Make It Impractical – Every fashion problem isn’t an actual item, it can also be the styling recommendation. I had several issues with the recommendations in the link my friend shared, but they suggest that to be fashionable (at the end) you carry your shoulder bag as a clutch instead of over your shoulder.
Carry your purse so it doesn’t get stolen girls. Don’t try to carry your purse in a way so it’s ‘on trend.” People are trying too hard.
There is so much GOOD fashion out there. Beautiful fashion out there. Things that will help you look and feel absolutely lovely.
Go peruse the dress offerings at Hobbs or the sweaters at Boden to remind yourself that classic and lovely and sophisticated still exist. Go watch an Audrey (or Katharine) Hepburn movie if you feel yourself suddenly being drawn to Ziploc baggies and leggings my friends.