Fashion Fridays: SWAP – Polishing Casual Friday

I am so excited about the outfits found in this SWAP.  If you missed last week, we’re in the middle of a three week “SWAP” – Shopping With A Purpose.  These are with my real live friends/guinea pigs.  Last week you met Brandy and watched her discover pieces to upgrade her wardrobe to executive career.  The other conundrum Brandy faced during our SWAP was polishing up her casual Friday.  Brandy is the only woman in her office.  Additionally, her boss doesn’t office in town.  So Fridays in her office are really casual.  But as you’ve heard me say, you just never know when you’re going to bump into someone who could impact your career, so you have to dress the part.  EVEN on casual Fridays (especially then because those can unravel pretty quickly if you get too casual).

Brandy needed to exchange her pale jeans for a darker trouser jean and have other options on rotation besides jeans and casual tops.  Well, she hit it out of the park.  You saw that a few of the blazers she found last week could be paired with jeans.  But she found this gorgeous blazer (Ann Taylor Loft), which I wanted to buy so badly but I have no shopping budget right now, and it just looked spectacular when sitting atop a dark rinse jean (Talbot’s) for casual Friday:

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In addition, she found a few good pieces which she can mix and match, including this simple royal blue top and perfect length patterned pencil skirt (both Ann Taylor) which she can pair with kitten heels for casual Friday:

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What is critical if your casual Friday has lost some of its sheen is to add a few basic pieces which you can build on – a dark wash trouser jean, a couple of fun/bolder blazers or a cardigan, a simple skirt – A line or pencil depending on your figure type, and some simple blouses that are not t-shirts.  Stay tuned next week for our other friend Julie’s SWAP feature and make sure to send me any SWAP ideas you have.

Learning to Lead: A Series Introduction

I wrote a book.  It’s still a little surreal, so I have to type it simply like that.  It’s not a big book.  It’s not being mega produced and distributed.  But it’s a book.  For working women.  About leadership.  And it has my name on the cover. 

Butterflies.  My dream, soon to be in my hot little hands.  I hope it will be in your hot little hands too in August (give-aways coming upon release).  So in the less than two months before its release date, I’m going to feature some leadership tips and techniques I learned over the months that I researched and interviewed and wrote and edited.  Techniques that I applied and that led me to a new job.  To a new board position.  To make bold requests.  And to take some risks.  I hope it will resonate with you too. 

Today is just an introduction about this new Tuesday series called Learning to Lead because the book is entitled Learning to Lead.  I know, super original series title.  The book is focused specifically on women in legal fields, regardless of whether corporate, private practice, government, or non-profit, but it features techniques applicable across any profession.  Primarily because I studied all the leading research and collective wisdom about effective women leaders before applying it practically to legal fields.  Additionally, I interviewed a number of women in the last segment of the book who, while they hold law degrees, no longer practice law – the CEO of a non-profit, an US Senator, a Vice Chair of a major financial house, an Executive Vice President of an energy company, and so forth.  Their wisdom inspired me and really moved me from a state of inaction, where I had resided since having the babies, to a state of forward motion and clearer direction.

Every time I read the latest research or visited with an effective leader, the same concepts repeated in the storyline.  Some of the leading techniques have been so frequently touted as to blunt their effectiveness.  I hope to reinvigorate those.  Other techniques I hadn’t given much thought to in the past.  Personal skills and traits like authenticity, optimism, risk-taking, vision-setting, and speaking up appear as the leadership keys to the kingdom.  So each Tuesday, I will tackle one of the topics and illustrate how it could be used effectively to either develop or improve your leadership quotient. 

I would also love to hear back from you on what has worked, or not worked, as you have led and been led.  I can learn as much from an ineffective leader as I can from an effective one at times.  I’m looking forward to sharing more about Learning to Lead as the summer progresses and hope to live blog from the book release in San Francisco in early August.  Stay tuned!

Fashion Fridays: SWAP – Going Executive

The next several Fashion Fridays are going to feature a real life SWAP – SWAP stands for “Shopping With A Purpose!”  A few of my darling friends gave me their current work wardrobe conundrums and I took them shopping at the Houston Galleria with the sole purpose of solving them.  In the process, we had a blast.

So both this week’s and next week’s post will feature my friend Brandy since she had two conundrums: (1) looking like an executive for upcoming meetings on the East Coast with senior executives in the company and (2) polishing up her casual Friday.  We’ll look at No. 2′s conundrum next week, but this week here is the issue: Brandy holds a managerial level position with even more potential and she needs her wardrobe to communicate the gravitas and confidence that she in fact possesses when she travels for a week of meetings with company executives.  The third SWAP week will feature an entirely different issue that my friend Julie needed resolved.  (And let me know if you have an issue that needs the SWAP treatment – I’d love to feature the resolution.)

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Here’s the girls after a successful shopping excursion.  The three of us spent four hours shopping at a handful of stores that I knew would have professional options: Nordstrom’s, Ann Taylor and Loft, Banana Republic, Talbots, and J. Crew.  I asked Brandy a few questions to understand how to best focus our shopping efforts for that executive look.  When I asked what her favorite feature(s) is she decided her overall feminine look because she is petite with curves and long hair.  That means she also likes to dress in feminine clothes – skirts over pants, patterns over boring neutrals.  Her least favorite feature(s) when shopping is her being right on the cusp of petite – things are either too short or too long but she can almost never find things that fit without needing tailoring.  Plus, because of her curves, even work outfits can look racy if she’s not careful.

So you can see from these responses that the last thing she needed was masculine navy pinstripe pants suit for these executive meetings.  Plus, she doubted the attendees would be very formally suited.  Fortunately, she’s not scared of patterns or colors which gave us a lot of options to infuse confidence and luxury into her look while still keeping her feminine.

I didn’t get a great shot of this lovely modern navy skirt suit and floral blouse we found for the most formal meetings, but here are a few great blazers that she can throw on with neutral trousers and really look the part – effortless chic, not too matchy-matchy, and modern career woman (ignore pants/tees, she was just trying the blazers, from Nordstrom’s and Talbot’s, respectively):

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So it may be difficult to tell from the first picture, but this blazer was really unique.  It had interesting detailing around the collar and the shoulders, and a yellow color was sewn in alongside the white which made the jacket interesting and versatile.  Brandy is already petite, but particularly short from shoulder to waist, so cropped jackets looked great on her.  Because she has such curves, she didn’t have to worry about these jacket shapes making her look boxy.  Each of these jackets had something interesting about it – an embellishment, a unique color, and interesting trim – that made it look sharper than a simple navy or tan blazer.  Both could be paired with pencil skirts or modern fitted trousers and some simple accessories.  She did get a simple one button taupe jacket that will be perfect with navy or black trousers or a patterned pencil skirt and a hot pink or blue shell.

Here’s a couple of looks she found for her office, which is business casual, but weren’t quite as executive as she needed for her meetings next week:

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The first is a lovely navy peplum top from Banana Republic that accentuates her small waist with a lovely subdued patterned pencil skirt.  The second is a simple floral sheath dress from Ann Taylor with a cropped black scalloped blazer she could throw on with this dress for work or with jeans to go out at night.  This dress isn’t for all seasons, but it was on sale so it made sense to buy for Houston’s long summers.

The great thing about this shopping excursion is that while we were looking for specific stand out pieces, she was able to upgrade her entire work wardrobe on a pretty reasonable budget.  You’ll hear more next week, but overall she got: six blazers (one with the suit, three pictured above, as well as the taupe and a tangerine patterned one), five blouses/shells, one pair of jeans, one pair of trousers, two skirts (one suit skirt) and one dress.

These were her closing remarks the day after the shopping spree, “I learned I look better in skirts and dresses.  I look lousy in pants and oversized loose fitting stuff.  I love colors and prints.  I need to try lots of things on since I stink at guessing what might work for me.  Gindi says I am a “spring!” Ha!”  (Author note: She looks fine in trousers and she is a spring if you ever had your colors done by season.)

How To Say No

I was never all that great at saying no.  From an early age, I was a people pleaser.  Plus, I run on activity so I didn’t mind the frenzied schedule and growing to do list.  Things are changing though, and I’m now having to learn to say no. 

The most important change is that I’m part of a family of five.  I get so little time with my husband and kids.  I leave the house at 7:30 am and don’t return until nearly 6 pm Monday through Friday.  That means, best case, I get from 6 pm to 8:30 pm during the week.  And that’s if nothing comes up.  So everything I say yes to, a new board appointment, a speaking engagement, an after hours meeting, has to be worth the few precious hours I’m giving up with my family. 

The most recent change though is that I’m getting asked to do more things by more people who I do not know well.  By virtue of my new job or the blog or my involvement with a few high-profile organizations, I am now getting asked to attend breakfasts, lunches, and dinners with people I do not have a personal relationship with.  I don’t know about you working moms, but it’s already nearly impossible for me to schedule a sliver of time with the girlfriends I do have!  However, I couldn’t figure out a way to say no to these lunch requests without it seeming rude.  It was not at all a reflection on the people asking to schedule something, but more a reflection on just how little time I have with my family in these precious years. 

So I asked a couple of girlfriends and got some great advice on how to approach these situations.  If you find yourself in a similar situation, needing to say no but not wanting to seem rude, aloof, or unfeeling, these might also work for you:

  1. Be Honest.  The best advice I got was from my best friend, “I’d just send a response that says you tend to take lunch at your desk because you like to leave at a “reasonable time” to get home to the kids.”  This is the truth.  I have so many mandatory lunches with work and board commitments, that the few free days I have I really like to work from my desk.  I pop downstairs, grab a salad, and come right back up to my desk and keep working so I can get off in time to spend time with the kiddos.  So you know what, I did just that.  And the person receiving the response totally understood.
  2. Pool the Invitations.  My other girlfriend said, “you could mention that there are one or two other people you also met through XYZ and that with everyone’s limited free time, maybe you could all get together for lunch.  That way you have one lunch and get the benefit of meeting 2 or 3 people.”  That way, if you feel it’s a must-do meet for professional reasons, you can still get multiple benefits out of one event.  Not to mention, you may be helping the others by expanding their network. 
  3. Find a Common Event.   This works great for me because a lot of my invitations stem from people I’m meeting at a mutual organization we have in common.  So a simple reply such as, “I can’t make it but I’ll see you at the next Women’s Energy Network event” or “I’m so busy right now but I’d love to catch up with you at the church/neighborhood picnic” allows you to connect without adding one more item to your already busy calendar.

It can be hard to say no.  Particularly when you are trying to be gracious.  But the most important thing is for you to ask if your “yes” will take away from your top three priorities.  If so, then find a way to say “no” and develop boundaries so your family and work don’t suffer.

Fashion Fridays: Stepping It Up

I was reading a cool corporate fashion blog the other day and got some great ideas.  The author suggested purchasing a dark suit when trying to upgrade your look to get the next promotion, raise, or job opportunity.  I love this simple idea. 

This is why: even if your career doesn’t traditionally feature suits, they come with staple pieces.  A lovely sheath dress.  A perfect pair of trousers.  A well cut blazer.  A simple pencil skirt.  These items, in black or navy or grey, are imperative to have in your working wardrobe if you want to achieve the next benchmark. 

Buy them in a size that fits.  Try a bunch on.  Shop at a number of different stores because everyone designs for different shaped models.  Even if you have had a basic “interview” or “big client” suit in your closet for years, it might warrant getting a new one that looks modern and fresh. 

Also, because these are going to be staple items that you can mix and match for work every week, it bears spending a little more money on these items than your flavor of the month on-trend blouse.  Here’s where my money is for solid suiting:

J. Crew – I would wait til they run a sale, but I think this grey pinstripe suit is so perfect.  Professional, gorgeous deep hue of gray, and it reads executive (minus pushed up sleeves) but modern. 

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Ann Taylor – I have a love-hate relationship with Ann Taylor.  But this season they are back to do lovely classic suiting pieces.  I’m nuts about this heather gray suit – it’s in a tropical wool which will fall beautifully on your figure and can be worn year round, plus they have coordinating items in both trousers and pencil skirts.  They also have this classic looking navy suit that I’d just need to see up close to make sure there wasn’t too much of a sheen to the fabric, but I love the cut. 

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Bloomingdale’s – I know we don’t have one in Houston, but I love Bloomingdale’s.  I shopped there when I went to Manhattan but you can order on-line regardless of where you are.  They have the full price spectrum too.  For example, this classic T Tahari black skirt suit is less than $200 for both pieces whereas this killer Hugo Boss suit will set you back over $600 (triplet mommas have to settle for drooling over Hugo Boss instead of buying). 

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The point is that you can upgrade your look at any price point and you should own staple pieces in neutral colors for that last-minute go-to invitation from the boss.  Keep up the good work!