Gindi Vincent

The Dish on Career, Fashion, Faith, and Family

Which is Easier

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In fourth grade, my kids have the opportunity to learn how to debate.  They’re in the debate segment of the curriculum right now.  This makes me happy. 

As you might guess, our kids are already pretty familiar with the concept of debate.  First of all, Bray and I support different political parties and any election season elicits a fair amount of debate in our house.  Second of all, I’m a lawyer and therefore fairly prone to debating on any manner of topics.  And finally, the kids are triplets and are regularly debating their position in order to get what they want or get out of trouble. 

I love that they’re learning how to support their position with supporting concepts during these classroom debates. 

The topics have varied from class to class.  The boys class debated the merits of dog ownership versus cat ownership.  Little bit’s class debated the value of getting paid for chores versus not getting paid. 

But on Wednesday, little bit’s teacher, Mrs. B, threw out an interesting debate topic:  Is it easier to follow Jesus or not to follow Jesus. 

We attend a small private Christian school, so I can imagine the topic idea caught the kids a little off guard.  Since they get to choose their side for the debate, no one raised their hand to advocate that it’s easier not to follow Jesus. 

Except little bit. 

I’d gone to chapel that morning and afterwards Mrs. B approached me.  She said how proud she was of our girl for taking a position different from the rest of the class and how her ideas were really strong and her point of view unique.  Little bit approached me when she heard, nervously, and said, are you mad?  Of course not, I responded, it’s absolutely easier to do your own thing and not have to worry about following what Jesus says. 

She came home last night excited to write out her debate ideas on her 3X5 cards.  She told Mrs. B this morning she would be happy to debate the entire class herself if no one wanted to advocate with her.  Today, one other boy decided to debate on little bit’s “team.” 

As she talked through her points tonight in advance of tomorrow’s debate, she tried to find additional support for her position.  She had to go two rounds.  One with supporting ideas for why it’s hard to follow Jesus.  One with support for the same idea but focused on it being hard to follow Jesus’ plan. 

When it came to why it’s hard to follow Jesus, she had lots of solid reasons: I mean you have to forgive everyone, how hard is that; and you have to love, everyone!  Then she started laying out why it’s so hard to follow His plan.  For one thing, she said, it’s really hard to wait on Jesus plan instead of following your own plan immediately.  And what if you don’t know what His plan is? 

Truth. The forgiving. Waiting. Not knowing. HARD.

But then she said, His plan is always better.

Just because it’s harder, didn’t mean she didn’t want to try.  It’s just she knew it would be harder.

Luke 9:23 – If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily

John 16:33 – In the world you will have tribulation

James 1:2 – Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds

Romans 5:3 – We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance

She wasn’t quoting scripture, she may not even know them, but she was laying out a pretty deep theological argument: Don’t follow Jesus because you think it’s easier.  You won’t get very far.  It’s better.  It’s not easier. 

I don’t know what made me prouder. 

Her having a sense that the price of Christianity doesn’t come cheap at the ripe old age of 10, or her bravery.  She boldly took a position for which no one else wanted to advocate.  Then she offered to debate the entire class alone.  My little introvert for whom school can be a challenge chose the brave option.  And she was excited about it too.  She came home bubbling and working on Wednesday and Thursday nights. 

She teaches me so much about life and myself. And this week, she reminded me, better may be harder. Do better.

One Meal

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Last night, I took the trio out to dinner.  A rare treat.  Not only do we eat out infrequently, we never dine out on a Monday evening! But I was overdue to celebrate their straight As on their first report card of fourth grade.  I won’t digress into how hard fourth grade has been and how these As seem miraculous to me, that’s for another post, but sufficed to say we had cause to celebrate.

I put the location to a vote and unanimously we landed at our favorite Mexican food restaurant.  It’s the first place we ate out with triplets and we’ve been loyal customers for a decade. 

Bray was out of town for the night so we sat at a booth for four and dissected their day.  We talked about issues that cropped up on the playground, fun had a P.E., questions about other people’s reactions, and so forth and so on.  We had a wonderful time.  Then we strolled down the sidewalk to explore the dollar store, one of their favorite excursions, and spent $8.66 on a few silly items for the holidays ahead.  (If you read my Facebook posts, you know how annoyed I am that Halloween has been utterly surpassed in the stores by their October Christmas displays!)

I learned a lot, sitting there, listening to their stories all tumbling on top of the other’s.  We make family dinners a priority.  I always make them report on the “best part of the day” before they can launch into a trouble or complaint.  It grows gratitude. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about the importance of each individual meal as I’ve led a class at church for the past few weeks on hospitality.  Maybe I had just lost sight of the fact that much of the Gospel stories revolve around Jesus eating or drinking.  Or Jesus telling parables about eating or drinking. 

Modern America has distorted hospitality.  It’s become more about us and what our entertaining shows to others than about making space available for friends and strangers alike to tell their stories around a table.  We need to acquire the right stemware and serving platters and candles and table displays (and by we, I mean me). 

Don’t get me wrong.  There’s nothing wrong with setting a pretty table.  My grandmother, and favorite human who ever walked the earth, would set beautiful holiday tables (and take pictures of them – just like I do now).  She, and I, derive great joy from creating a lovely atmosphere to host others. 

The trouble starts when (a) decorating becomes about pride and how people perceive us, rather than about them, or (b) impeccable decor or food is a prerequisite to us opening our homes.

In preparation for my class, where the theme is SIMPLE hospitality, I started reading about meals where Jesus was a guest.  In Luke 5, he gladly accepted an invitation to a feast at the home of a tax collector (Levi) which was considered utterly unacceptable by religious leaders.  In Luke 7, he welcomed a woman who is believed to have been a prostitute to a dinner party at a religious leader’s home and freely gave forgiveness and acceptance.  Can you imagine if someone like that crashed one of our dinner parties?  I don’t know that our reaction would be much different than the disdainful leaders of that time. 

It goes on and on.  In Luke 9, after learning of his dear cousin’s death, Jesus tried to get away.  But the crowds followed him and He threw one of the biggest dinner parties of all time with meager beginnings – five loaves and two fish became dinner for well over 5,000.  He joined his friends for dinner in Luke 10.  Parables about the wedding feast and great banquet appear in Luke 14.  He attends an impromptu dinner at Zacchaeus’ house in Luke 19.  And maybe one of the most memorable meals of all time, Jesus’ last meal told in Luke 22 (and elsewhere), where He uses a simple meal of bread and wine at a stranger’s house to remind us even now of His sacrifice. 

One meal. 

It can be utterly transformative. 

In Biblical times and now. 

Are we having important conversations around our dinner table?  Are we welcoming in friends and strangers alike? 

With one meal, comes opportunity.  What if we looked at each dinner with fresh eyes, ready to open our home and our kitchen to friends and family and those in need?  What would we learn?  Whose lives could we change? 

Fashion Friday: Super Skinny Saga

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There is an epidemic sweeping the U.S. You’ve seen it if you’ve ventured into a store or shopped on-line this year. It is SKINNY jeans. And if that’s not enough for you, then there’s SUPER SKINNY jeans.

Which brings us to today’s Fashion Friday. For those of us who sigh in collective horror, let’s tackle the Super Skinny Jean epidemic in fashion.

Why am I up in arms over this fashion? Well, first of all, both little bit and I have been jeans shopping this month. She’s a girl’s size 10 and I’m a ladies size 12. She is super skinny and I am super not.

So arguably, if the fashion was going to work for someone, it would work for one of us on either end of the size spectrum.

It does not.

She will tell you, she hates super skinny. Regular ole skinny isn’t much better.

Where will you find this trend? The better question is where won’t you. Thus far, the super skinny look is dominating the following stores which we regularly frequent: Gap, Old Navy, Banana Republic, Target, Abercrombie, Levi, Express, Nordstrom, Macy’s, J. Crew, Justice, and on and on. It doesn’t help if you go to a department store. I tried Seven for All Mankind, Joe’s, Lauren, etc., and they were all skinny fit. And, I might add, they are running SHORT which is a crime if you’re 5’10 and don’t want to look like you’re wading through a river! (Or worse than super skinny, the jegging. Y’all, this is a legging not a jean!)

Seriously.

(From top to bottom, Justice, J. Crew, Old Navy, and Joe’s from Dillard’s. This is just a VERY small sample size of the skinny epidemic! And note, they’re not just SKINNY but they are often also high-waisted and ankle length – these are all bad things if you just want a normal pair of jeans!)

So what is a girl to do if you don’t actually want jeans plastered to your thighs, be you skinny or curvy? My girlfriend and I were discussing this over breakfast and have come up with a few options for all of you suffering under the same skinny jeans oppression as the Vincent girls.

One of my favorite brands, hand’s down, is Kut from Cloth. I love their fit and their longevity. I’ve had my first pair for years and finally bought my second pair. They’re a little pricey for me, they run close to $100, but in the normal sized jeans desert, I splurged. These are their Natalie bootcut jeans, but they have tons of styles and they run $89 at Nordstrom. (I also tried Lucky, similar cut, and I liked them but the color was too bright – I like my denim darker.)

J. Crew is not ALL skinny. They have straight, wide leg, curvy, boyfriend… My friend swears by boyfriend for her figure, but they don’t fit me right and I don’t care for how most of them are cuffed. Here is the straight trouser and their curvy boot cut. Normally these run over $100, but they’re on sale for 35% off.

If you’re looking for a bargain, then I’d typically send you to Old Navy. However, I have found they are the worst offender of the super skinny. Some of my fav jeans are their curvy style. Well they are out of that style for now, but I just found a gorgeous straight-legged style which I’m wearing today and they’re soft, stylish, and a bargain at HALF PRICE for $18. Can you believe it? (Plus we should all buy from Old Navy because they give you the option of seeing the jeans on a size 4 model or a size 10 model – this is the size 10 model, thank you so much Old Navy!)

There are others. You have to hunt. I tried on OVER 20 pairs of jeans just to find two pair that worked. Little bit is STILL on the hunt because the epidemic is even worse for girls (plus she is super freakish about fabrics – send help!). Sigh. Between skin tight jeans and micro-mini shorts and skirts, I am disgusted with girls fashion right now. But you already know that.

What say you? Do you love the super skinny? Don’t worry, I’ll still be your friend if you do 🙂

The Great Ear Piercing of 2019

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When I turned 12, my mother took me to the doctor’s office to get my ears pierced.  I felt so grown up.  I love earrings.  Especially fine dangling ones.  Alas, while babysitting in college, an infant ripped the hoops out of my right ear and the skin never grew back together.  To this day, I still wear clip earrings.  Which I leave scattered around the country because I take them off since they always hurt after an hour.  I could solve this problem by having my lobe stitched up.  I just haven’t bothered. 

But I digress. 

Little bit wanted to pierce her ears.  I told her, starting around age 8, she could have them pierced when she turned 10.  We’d hoped to get our ears pierced together but I never got it together to fix mine in time. 

As the time approached, I investigated options.  Apparently, very few people go to a doctor.  But I thought we might should avoid an “earring mill” like Clare’s just to ensure against infection.  (Though I know plenty of people happy with Clare’s.)

After some investigating through my lovely social media network, I landed on a tattoo parlor being the best option because they pierce with a single use needle.  Because of several solid referrals, we landed on 713 Tattoo down in the Montrose area of Houston which is FAR from my house.  Nonetheless, we made our appointment for the afternoon before the kids 10th birthday so she could arrive at school the morning of her birthday with ears sparkling. 

I picked her up from school, with all her friends cheering her on (and wanting to come along), and we hiked all the way down to the parlor.  I was told I needed my i.d., her birth certificate, and a photo i.d. for her.  Because she does not have a photo i.d., I was told I could use a yearbook so I swung by home to pick one up.  On our drive, I mentioned that she might see people who have a lot of colorful tattoos and might have more piercings than she is used to seeing. 

Yet, still, she wasn’t quite ready. 

She was already very nervous about getting her ears pierced. 

Upon arrival, we waited behind a high school couple there to get his nose pierced and her septum pierced. Then, a lovely young woman came out from the piercing room with so many piercings all over her face it took both little bit and I aback. Not to mention, the very nice man who did the piercings was completely covered in tattoos and piercings and had very long blue fingernails. Nonetheless, we pressed forward.

I had gone and left the yearbook at home but I had my driver’s license and her birth certificate and Bray had texted me a photo of the yearbook cover and her page. The cost to get her ears pierced, with their mandatory jewelry, was incredibly high, but still we pressed forward.

It wasn’t until the man, apologetically, shared that he was prohibited to pierce her ears without an in person photo identification that we had to throw in the towel. We’d had the appointment on the books for weeks and she’d told all her friends she would arrive at school, on her birthday, with sparkly pierced ears. Pearls, she’d said, all along (which were not available at the tattoo parlor, perhaps not surprisingly).

I was so upset. I’d forgotten the stupid yearbook on the counter! All my fault. So I thought back to my original social media post asking for recommendations for piercing spots. And I remembered a number of moms recommending Merle Norman. MERLE NORMAN?!?! I didn’t even know they were still around. My memory of them from the ’80s was that they sold heavy foundation.

Upon investigation, there was a Merle Norman FIVE MINUTES from our house! Hmmm, surely they wouldn’t be open past 5, I wondered while staring at the clock reading 4:30 while miles and miles from home. Nevertheless, I called, hoping against hope I could rescue my piercing promise.

She answered, could take us at 5:30, as they did not close until 6 pm!!! Great rejoicing was had by us both.

Then little bit turned to me and asked if there would be a lot of tattoos and piercings at Merle Norman. I laughed and said I could guarantee no tattoos at the MN destination. To which she sighed a great sigh of relief, her little face relaxing for the first time since our arrival at 713, and said, “Oh good mommy, I really didn’t want that man piercing my ears. Did you SEE his nails???”

Ha!

Providential intervention!

The lady at Merle Norman was positively delightful. She sat little bit in the high Merle Norman chair for the obligatory before and after shots. And upon looking at their jewelry, they had beautiful little pearl studs EXACTLY as little bit had dreamed.

In talking to our friendly piercer to ease little bit’s fears, she was completely pale and shaking because she is terrified of needles, we heard the best stories. She shared that the oldest woman whose ears she’d ever pierced was 85 years old. The 85 year old, when asked why pierce her ears now, said her husband had always thought pierced ears were for “loose” women and now that her husband had died she was finally able to pierce her ears!

Well that cracked us both up and the first earring went in. Oh, that’s it, that’s not even as bad as a flu shot, she remarked. She visibly relaxed again, stopped shaking, and the second one went in without even a flinch.

Now, of course, we’re three weeks in and she’s totally annoyed at having to treat them every morning and night. But we do it religiously because I know when she’s in her 40s (if she stays away from hoop earrings and babies) she’ll be glad she did it! No infections, thank heavens, and she bounded off to school the next bright birthday morning with her shiny pearl studs!

And now, I promise, back to fashion and parenting and leadership and community posts. Thanks for letting me scrapbook our 10th milestones!

Baseball Birthday Bash

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Last week, I wrote about the momentous decade mark. But I’d ask your indulgence while I scrapbook some big things that happened to celebrate.

Today I’m going to share a little about their 10th baseball birthday bash we held shortly before their birthday and tomorrow I’ll share about little bit’s 10th milestone.

We hadn’t had a BIG all boys and all girls theme birthday party since the trio turned five. We had their third grade friends out to jump at one of those trampoline places last year, an easy and low key party. But otherwise, we hadn’t been hosting big parties. In my mind, the big ones are 5, 10, 16, and 21. Those deserve a BIG BASH!

Well, we brainstormed for weeks and weeks. We thought about a catered pool party but the neighborhood pool won’t let you have more than 50. I know that sounds like a lot, but we are in a small private school with 30 kids in the entire grade. So you either have a couple friends for a sleep over or you invite everyone. And once you’ve got their parents, well, you’re pushing 100. (That’s without family or neighbors!)

We went back and forth until we were all attending a Sugarland Skeeters Game. Just south of Houston, there is a minor league baseball team in Sugarland called the Skeeters, and their home field is this really amazing Constellation Field. It’s never crowded, has easy parking, and in addition to the ballgame, they have splash pads and a playground and plenty of space to run.

That was the ticket! Quite literally. And all three kids were excited about the idea. (You can imagine finding a spot three very different kids agree on is tricky.)

Constellation Field has a fun area called Picnic Plaza where you can watch the game, move around, have a full buffet lunch and non-alcoholic drinks, and it’s adjacent to the areas the kids play. The only hiccup was the cost. How to keep costs down?

We’d wanted to invite whole families but we’d quickly get well over any sort of budget that was an option. So my lovely friend, who’s an etiquette master, helped me come up with the language for the invitation:

In the description below, it said: No all-star travels without their agent, so tickets are provided for each child and a parent. You can add tickets to our “dugout” for other parents and siblings. If you’d like additional tickets for your team, the Vincent box office is open via PayPal for $X a ticket.

This enabled me to stay *somewhat* in a party budget while also letting whole families come if they wanted. I was just talking to a girlfriend of mine who was struggling with what to do when parents asked to bring siblings. Children’s parties are often space-constrained or too expensive to allow additional children at a birthday party, so be honest in your response explaining your limitations.

Bray loves baseball and we all enjoy the Skeeters game because they’re so much more accessible, and affordable, than going to an Astros game downtown. (As much as we love our Astros! Go ‘stros!) All the kids played and this gave us space to spread out and enjoy our friends.

We tried a wonderful new bakery in town, World Catering Bakery, who came recommended for being able to make a cake out of cupcakes. We needed eight dozen. What I didn’t count on was: (1) the boxes were SO huge they would not fit in my refrigerator the night before the party, and (2) it was A THOUSAND degrees in Houston on September 22nd (well, 95, but same), so we had to eat the cupcakes early so they didn’t all melt immediately.

Decorating was fairly easy. We got packs of Big League Chew and put a thank you baseball sticker on the back for take home gifts. We also had baseball hacky sacks and key chains and bubblegum dispensers scattered around on the tables where we were sitting for kids to take back with them, but primarily to mark the tables for our party.

The biggest obstacle was the heat and the prep. We had to sneak in before gates opened at 1 pm (for the 2 pm game), grab the area where we were going to set up, show our photographer around, and be ready when everyone arrived. It was SO hot! We had an hour before the game for the kids to play on the field, to eat lunch, and to serve cupcakes. Then the trio needed to get down to the pitcher’s mound to throw out the first pitch(es) (definitely a highlight of the day).

But of course, shortly after the game started, it began to RAIN! Houston – ugh! So we had a rain delay. And the kids got wet. Most of the adults stayed moderately dry under the canopy.

What happens though once the kids are slightly wet? They say to themselves, why not get MORE wet! There was a small pool inside picnic plaza. I had not brought suits or towels or told any other parents to bring suits and towels because we were there for a BASEBALL GAME!

Well, the kids had other ideas. Eventually, nearly all of them were jumping in. And laughing hysterically. So the parents just threw up their hands and laughed along with them, because if you can’t beat ’em…

The game started back when the rain passed and two of the three agreed to follow the event planner to the dugout so the stadium could sing happy birthday to them. It was so funny because there was another boy celebrating, so on the big screen were Baby A, Baby C and a random kid. Our group was all looking around for little bit – who was still in the pool. I don’t know why I plan!

In the end, we left before the game ended because a second rain hit(!), resulting in a significant one hour rain delay. However, a few hardy souls lasted until that round when we all ran for it in the deluge (along with gifts and party supplies – we trashed the cupcakes).

The kids pronounced it the best birthday ever, and I smiled gleefully all the way home because I don’t have to plan another big birthday party for SIX YEARS! Hoorah!