I hadn’t planned on writing today. I’ve had very little to write about at all this week. But I just returned home from a bible study I’ve started attending on most Tuesday evenings and felt compelled to share some sage counsel I received. As luck would have it, this return to a study was marked by another blessing – one of my dearest friends and a Godly accountability partner joined as well.
In the parking lot after the study she and I had the chance to visit for a bit and share what has been going on in our lives. I felt like this week I had a very clear message from God about something related to my children. However, in typical Type A “I can do it myself” form, I basically said Thanks God for that great idea, now let me go work myself and everyone into a frenzy trying to implement that plan. I really think if you looked up the definition of insanity, in someone’s dictionary, my various plan implementations would be Exhibit A. So I was pouring all of this out and telling her that I really didn’t WANT to take over what God was trying to do but I’m so plan-oriented and so activity focused that I didn’t know how to STOP! So instead of my friend saying, let me get this straight, God gave you a word, and now you’ve STOLEN it from Him and you’re making it some crazy earthly nutty distortion of His plan and you’re worried sick it won’t get done?!!?!?!?, she said this instead, Pray for the desire to be different. Pray for the desire to be obedient. Whatever it is you THINK you should be doing – obeying, listening, sitting quietly – put the words “give me the desire” in front of whatever that thing is.
I literally jumped out of my car and hugged her because I needed someone to whisper those words over my spirit. My out of control, worried, frenzied, Type A, disobedient spirit. I can’t do it. Just like I can’t make God’s plan happen, I don’t see all of it to begin with, only He does. I also can’t, in my own power, make myself be a different person. I AM all of those things – worried, frenzied, out of control, focused on making things happen……and God knows me, this does not come as a shock to Him. But if I would ask Him for the DESIRE to be patient, to be quiet, to be obedient, to listen, then He will give me the supernatural tools to transform. I can’t envision it, but I don’t think I’m supposed to right now. So if you find yourself frustrated by your own efforts to take the wheel, instead of praying for God to make you let go, ask Him to give you the desire to hand it over. Wise counsel sweet friend. Thank you for being a messenger tonight.
Philippians 4 – I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Romans 7 – I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do…As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
I Thessalonians 1 – With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith. We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.