I would never write an open letter on a blog followed by thousands of people because I know that you would die of embarrassment or from the loss of privacy. But because this is still an unfollowed unpublicized space, I felt compelled to write these words here so you would hear them and know how I would love to shout them to the world at large.
Almost two weeks ago, I experienced what I can only describe as a week that was the best and highest picture of an incredible marriage driven by an amazing husband who I love so deeply that I can not even find the words to describe it. We’ve had a year of ups and downs but this week so exemplified why we make it.
The week started off with a bang. Crazy chemistry like we were dating again. Just thinking about it makes my toes curl. I LOVE that I still think you are the sexiest man alive and that I get goose bumps when you kiss me. We’ve been together seven years and just looking at you across the room makes me want to attack you (in the best way!). I love that after fertility treatments, a pregnancy that involved some serious weight gain, a c-section and frequent spit up (from little bits, not me), that there is still sensational chemistry between us. I can’t imagine why I ever kissed anyone before you.
Then the week turned into a horror show with literally every member of our family throwing up. And while it certainly was not as sexy as the start of the week, it was illustrative of why I am madly in love with you. In the midst of it all, you were so fully present and kind and patient. Managing the kids while I was throwing up, cleaning up Big W’s yuck from the bathroom floor because I couldn’t do it, washing the p.j.s out while I laid limp in the bed. Wow. It was such a gift.
I had planned on writing to you that weekend and am sorry that I delayed. It is so important for you to know that I believe you are amazing. I know that in the conflict laiden times it may not seem that I believe that. But please know that even then I wouldn’t trade you for any other husband in the world. You are so faithful. So present in our lives – from assembling desks, to buying me a new car, to managing our finances, to changing light bulbs and taking out the trash. You have such an exhausting schedule with the kids and your job and the farm yet you find time to do all of these things that make our family, and our life together, work. And you still make my toes curl and spine tingle (and even clean up throw up when called upon). Thank you. I love you.