We had a big interview yesterday. We, as parents, interviewed on behalf of our children to get them into a school that I believed would be the perfect fit for them. I fell in love with this school and was ecstatic when we were selected to interview (it increased our odds of acceptance once selected for an interview).
In preparation, I was reading the information on the school’s website and rereading our children’s life verses. I read each one and prayed it over each child from afar and the words read so fresh and new that they completely shifted my focus as I prepared. The last verse I read was the eldest’s, from Proverbs 3, and these words nearly lifted off the page as if animated in a 3D movie, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding…”
Imagine that. Step 1 – trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart. Step 2 – Lean not on you own understanding. Can you imagine the pitfalls we would sidestep if we all just did that and only that?!?!? Forget all the other incredible divinely written words in the Bible. What if we just (a) wholly trusted God, and (b) didn’t rely on ourselves! Not only would we sidestep the many pitfalls that befall us as we walk this winding road, we would in all likelihood be moved to an entirely NEW road that didn’t even HAVE pitfalls.
I just wrote about how recently I’ve heard this message that we shouldn’t manipulate a situation to be God’s will when it’s really our own striving or desires. I’m guilty of that. Seriously guilty of that. I am a Type A person that has tried to achieve my entire life. Once one achievement is under my belt, I’m off to another one, oftentimes entirely unrelated. But there’s this careful tightrope I have to walk. I think that God encourages me, all of us, to use our gifts and talents, and I could be just as disobedient if I sat on my hands and did nothing. HOWEVER, if I’m trying to push my agenda instead of further His agenda all my work is in vain. Not to mention displeasing to the God that I serve. Oh, and it can lead to another nasty sin of mine, pride.
If I were to, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding,” then the Bible says He will make my paths STRAIGHT. No more pitfalls on a winding and bumpy road. Wow. A straight path. A path that I can follow. A path that won’t lend itself to pitfall-induced sprained ankles and bruises.
After yesterday’s interview, we were pretty much set up for the fact that the kids wouldn’t get in. The me before I prepared my heart with prayer would have been heartsick. The me now is at peace. I still hope my children have the opportunity to attend this school. I think that the academics partnered with the focus on Christ is nearly impossible to find these days and I would love for my kids to experience that. But I don’t know what the Lord has in store for them. Only that He has a plan. And maybe this is the plan and maybe it isn’t. As I wait to hear the news, I will remind myself daily to trust the Lord instead of myself, and maybe the first pitfall that new strategy will help me avoid will be the pitfall of anxiety.