I am terrible about keeping a list of the hysterical things the kids are saying these days. They come too fast and furious to keep up. So here’s what I can remember lately, though even tonight I forgot a good one and am beating myself up for not having a notepad handy.
The Eldest
(While sitting with him in the bathroom after bedtime) – I love you mommy. You not an old mommy.
(After I explained to him we couldn’t go to the zoo because he wouldn’t stay in his room last night) – I got out of bed to go to the potty – that’s a reason!
(During a conversation with Bray about his snake bite) – Bray: I was 12. Him: What you now? Bray: 41 (laughter)
He’s big on saying he will teach us or someone something. When I commented that I had to move the outside chair back to the table he said: Maria moved it. I gonna teach her not to move it.
(Said in response to a request for action) – Awight, I do dat.
The Little Lady
(In their room, after bedtime) Let’s do the hokey-pokey, okay? C’mon, everybody up.
Dadgummit is okay. Just no damnit. (Good night nurse….)
Instead of asking if I paid “for it” she asks if I paid “with it.” So this evening she asked if I paid “with” the toilet paper.
(She and the baby both have super human senses of smell – said with wrinkled little nose) – I smell somepeen!
The Baby
(While giving me a “haircut”) – You no wanna a shot or a needle?
I gonna cut the alligators. (I literally have no idea where this came from – talk of Captain Hook’s crocodile???)
He gives these huge long explanations of everything, paragraphs, including spinning an adventure tale this week as we all sat on the mini-trampoline which was a “pirate ship” that he was flying to Disneyworld and he nearly flipped us over high in the sky to drop us on the aforementioned crocodile.
(Said in response, enthusiastically, to nearly every question) – Yes, OF COURSE!
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