For today’s Flashback Friday I was going to post from last January about when everyone in our family got the flu since I’m currently batting a stomach bug. But then I ran across this entry from March 4, 2011 and felt I should share this instead. Because I’ve had the great joy to have so many new readers this year, I realized that many of you may not know about our infertility journey. It was not as onerous as some friends I know, but it was one of our hardest times. This entry, entitled Our Story: An Introduction, sets the stage. If you’d like to read more, there is an Our Story category link at the right of this post that will take you to all the parts I’ve written thus far. I’m looking forward to the chapters of Our Story yet to come. Here it is…..
I enjoy television. I don’t see much of it these days but I have three guilty pleasures. I DVR those three shows and watch them as time permits. One recently featured the leading couple struggling with infertility. As the lead character (let’s call her Meredith) and her best friend (let’s call her Cristina) visit, Cristina shares that she’s been asked by a friend to be her baby’s godmother. Meredith encourages Cristina throughout the day to decline to serve as the godmother. As the episode nears, Meredith stands in front of the newborn nursery and finally shares with her friend why she’s asking her to say no, “It just seems like if you agree to be the baby’s godmother, you’re saying that I’ll never have a baby of my own.”
Those words flattened me. Even though they are said by fictional characters, those words reflect a heartbreaking reality occurring in many lives tonight. And that sentiment, that aching and sadness, that feeling that you may never have children, was incredibly real in my life for years. Reading into everything that everyone says or does, feeling like any given action is a judgment on your own personal fertility struggles, happens.
And so it led me to think that maybe it’s time to share our story. I’ve hesitated for some time. Partly because it’s still fresh. And partly because I have friends whose infertility struggle ended differently than mine and they made the decision to either remain childless or to adopt. My story of miracles doesn’t at all diminish the miracles that God worked in their lives. They also are people of great faith and God had a different plan in mind.
So over the next few weeks, in addition to my ongoing random posting, I’ll share our story. I pray that it gives someone going through the same struggle hope. I pray it will serve solely as a testament to God’s faithfulness and miraculous power.