That is what leadership is all about: staking your ground ahead of where opinion is and convincing people, not simply following the popular opinion of the moment.
Doris Kearns Goodwin, Author and Historian
This sounds a lot like “Toot Your Own Horn,” but it IS different. That leadership characteristic is more about acknowledging your contribution and value as a leader and contributor. Speak Up tackles having a voice. Having a seat at the table. Or confronting the issue of “women don’t ask,” as one book brands.
In order to develop experience and practice using your voice, if until now you have not used it, practice with small opportunities where the outcome doesn’t really matter. I love this idea from How Remarkable Women Lead and think it is a practical step every woman could use to sharpen their voice: “For example, the next time you’re in a store, ask for a discount (and not just because that sweater is missing a button). Practice asking everywhere. The actual discount is not what you’re after; it’s risk-taking. Though it’s uncomfortable to do at first, you’ll soon get the hang of it.” This idea of using your voice is closely aligned with risk-taking. The same fears we discussed in Taking Risks are often the same fears that keep us from using our voice. We refrain from asking, or directing, or leading, because of a fear over sounding foolish, being overruled, or not having the best idea.
In Secrets of Six-Figure Women, the author suggests that this speaking up can come with a downside: “You’re not likely to find much reinforcement for speaking up from the present-day culture, either. According to the Journal of Social Issues, women with a “directive style” are evaluated more harshly than men. ‘I sometimes feel, in meetings, that being direct and straightforward is interpreted as bitchy, whereas from a man it would just be forceful. It’s intimidating,’ a senior vice president reported. Being cast as a bitch when they’re acting confident and bold has even subdued some of the highest earners. Women by nature are relationship-driven.”
Other experts label this skill “projecting personal power” – where you show up with confidence, poise, and energy, on the phone, in meetings, giving presentations, interacting with clients, and so on. Speaking up is a logical outgrowth of many other leadership strategies such as confidence, poise, courage, patience, and ability to manage stress. By you knowing when to speak and how to speak, your leadership skills will be much more quickly recognized.
Sheryl Sandberg relates a story in Lean In to which many working moms can relate. While she ran online sales and operations at Google, she was very pregnant and sick during her entire pregnancy. She was parking far away when her husband highlighted his employer’s reserved parking for expectant mothers. She describes marching into the Google founder’s office and, “announced that we needed pregnancy parking, preferably sooner rather than later. He looked up at me and agreed immediately, noting that he had never thought about it before. To this day, I’m embarrassed that I didn’t realize that pregnant women needed reserved parking until I experienced my own aching feet. As one of Google’s most senior women, didn’t I have a special responsibility to think of this? But like Sergey, it has never occurred to me. The other pregnant women must have suffered in silence, not wanting to ask for special treatment. Or maybe they lacked the confidence or seniority to demand that the problem be fixed. Having one pregnant woman at the top made the difference.”
Sandberg highlights, in this simple example, so many benefits of speaking out. One, you CAN effect change. The change here had never been implemented simply because it had not been considered before. Two, you can positively impact others. If you are the one who chooses to speak up, then the change that directly impacts you can have positive effect to others inside, or beyond, the company where you are.
If you struggle with speaking up, and not everyone does, then find immediate situations to practice . Speak up when you are working with a client you know well. Speak up when you’re at a cocktail reception. Speak up when you are collaborating in a team meeting with an executive. Learn to find your voice. Be persistent. You can not lead without a voice. But on the flip side, if you often speak up to quickly, learn to moderate your voice so people respect what you have to say. Think before you formulate and voice your opinion. I know it can be hard in a room full of colleagues who often are heard based on who is the loudest and fastest on their feet, but make sure you can speak up intelligently and that your advice is value-added. The more strategic the advice, the more sought after your counsel will be. Speaking up can effect change and it can result in bettering the circumstances of others, so you must do it. Look at the voices in history that made great strides for all of humanity.
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