So I love the new blog. But I think I overcommitted it. What started out as having a recurring theme on one day turned into me scheduling the life out of it – Tuesday’s was for dreams, Wednesdays were Wordless, Thursdays were bible studies and Fridays were fashion. That only left Mondays for me to write. Just write about whatever random stuff is in my head. As this got more and more scheduled, I found I had less I wanted to say about the scheduled stuff and just longed to get around to Monday so I could write my heart. So I’m tossing all the preplanned blog posts on scheduled days for at least a week so I can write about some stuff that has been sitting in the queue and some stuff that has cropped up in my heart.
Today, and for probably a few posts, I’d like to write a little about conviction. There’s the traditional meaning of conviction and then there’s this faith-based interpretation I’m addressing. The general definition of conviction, as per good old Merriam-Webster, is either “the act or process of finding someone guilty of a crime” or “a strong persuasion or belief.” So if you speak with conviction, it comes out of this deep sense of belief about the topic. But the faith-based conviction is a little different, though clearly linked to those concepts. I love how Wiki puts it, “Religious conviction describes the assertion of religious individuals that they are directed by God to take specific actions in honor of their conviction. Examples might include a conviction to change personal behaviors that are sinful and apart from God’s will.”
I don’t consider myself a “religious individual,” but I certainly hold fast to my faith. And it is that conviction to change that I’m battling these days. Three convictions really. One conviction you’ve seen me talk a lot about lately. The other two I haven’t mentioned: the first because people are all over the map on this issue and I don’t want to tackle it; the second because I stay away from stuff that involves my husband. Plus – I hate to look bad. But I read this from Lisa Jo Baker about being brave enough to be un-fine, and it reminded me I need to write this. So here are the three areas where I’m facing conviction:
- Materialism – this is the one you’ve spotted. I’ve been in the teeth of this darn thing since last August with my 39 Things challenge and then more recently fighting through Jen Hatmaker’s “7.” I get rid of stuff and then accumulate it and then get rid of it – I have to adopt a process that weeds out acquisition of “stuff” for stuff’s sake.
- Drinking – I drink wine. I know some Christians are opposed to drinking and some Christians drink all the time so that’s why I don’t like to talk about it because I think it’s up to the person and God. But here’s the thing. I am genetically predisposed to alcoholism. I actually did not drink until I turned 21. Then I drank a lot. Then I got married and just drank socially. Now I drink a glass of wine (or two) at night after the kids go down. It’s not a problem if it’s not a problem. It is a problem if it is.
- Marriage – You might not guess this, but I can be a challenge. My husband can be a challenge too. Because we are both really strong willed people with very different perspectives on things. It makes us strong as a couple and it also makes us weak. I haven’t been paying enough attention to my marriage. It’s fine, but it won’t be if I keep working hard at work and then come home and put the kids down and watch my t.v. show and ignore my relationship.
So I’m going to talk a little about this stuff. I don’t even know exactly what I want to say only that I’m hoping transparency on this stuff will also hold me accountable. I’m also going to talk about funny stuff because my life is really funny right now too. And my kids crack me up. Sunday night eating dinner out I nearly passed out crying I was laughing so hard at what the baby said. So I’ll tell you that story too. I’m going to write more about the cord that dance post struck – I got more emails, comments, and Facebook posts on that than anything this year. And just hang in here with me while I jump over all the planned posts in order to get this stuff written while it needs to be written about.