Well, it’s noon and long past time to run a post. I had no intention of writing today until today happened.
Motherhood is messy. My mothering looks nothing like a Pinterest board (and you’ll notice I have nary a one mother-type board on there – like inspirational sayings or cool craft projects). My mothering is rushed and crammed into available nooks and crannies and supported by a whole team of people who include a nanny, a husband, family and girlfriends.
I always wanted to be a mother. I spent years thinking I never would be a mother. And then five years ago God gave me the completely unfathomable blessing of finding out I was pregnant with triplets.
I sat through the church service this morning and cried as they prayed a blessing over mothers. I cried for the years I had to stop going to church on Mother’s Day because it broke my heart in two. I cried for these past years when I’ve felt profoundly indebted for the three little people in my life.
I woke up this morning to a passel of people in my bed. Little bit threw her arms around me and proclaimed, “I love mornings and Mother’s Day because I have the best mommy in the whole world.”
The baby, my sensitive one who has been so excited about Mother’s Day all week, personally wrapped these little packages and had them laid out on our pillows by Friday night. Inside, I discovered this morning upon their re-delivery, were nestled chocolates (he had found from Easter) and handmade bracelets that I haven’t taken off all day. Daddy hopped up after kisses all around to make morning coffee and the usual morning mayhem of breakfast and getting ready unfolded.
Then I sat and listened to our pastor preach from Philippians 2 and thought of all the mothers that have gone before me and all the mothers that have yet to be made. I felt gifted by womanhood and the ability to be called to mother. Imperfectly. Messily. Haphazardly at times. But always with love. Love that wakes us all up in the morning and love that puts us all to bed at night. No one in our family of five doubts that everyone is loved. That’s the beauty in motherhood.
At brunch today, an unsupervised child was bullying kids in the kids play area, including mine. I walked up the playyard steps and said, “You get down or I will get you down,” in a pretty tough voice after I couldn’t find his mother. My little man looked at another mom in the playyard and said with a grin, “That’s my mom!” She laughed and we grinned conspiratorially knowing that we are momma bears and will protect our little ones until we die. I’ll bask in that little one’s pride and happily respond, “Those are my kids!”
As we walked away, she said, “You’re kids are wonderful.” Yes sweet momma, yes they are. Yours are too.
Oh I just love this post and your sweet heart friend!!
Thank you Kristin, I sat there in church looking at those bracelets thinking how good God is.