We’re in our fourth week of this fall’s Breaking Fear bible study. We laid the foundation with the antidote to our fears (reminder: love and truth), and then started investigating some of the causes of our fear like last week’s look at the unknown.
Today, we look at the fear that rises up when we have no control over the situation.
I am the first to admit I’m a bit of a control-freak. So being out of control may engender more fear in me than in others, but I believe everyone has been gripped by fear when they have no control of a situation.
I have also tried to control a situation in order to manage the outcome. I’ve tried to control schedules and behaviours and relationships and everything else you can imagine. Why? Because of some terrifying circumstances growing up when I had no control.
Donald Miller says, Show me a controlling person and I’ll show you a person who is secretly afraid.
Maybe not even so secretly afraid.
What is it we’re afraid of? The worst outcome. The tornado smashing our house against the ground. The child suffering under addiction. The airplane crashing. The spouse leaving us. The best friend dying of cancer. The layoff list containing our name. The truck crashing into us.
Each of these fears presents a scenario beyond our control.
There are at least two potential outcomes with each set of facts. One outcome may actually be the best result. So if we spend our time in knots over the worst result but get the best result, we have wasted days or weeks or months of our lives in turmoil over something that never happened. Not only is that a waste of time, it’s unhealthy for us physical and spiritually.
Another potential outcome is the worst. When the thing we are terrified will happen actually does happen.
What then?
The hard question comes: Is God still God? Does He still love me? Is He still in control?
There’s a story Jesus tells in Matthew 7. It’s about two builders:
Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.
I’ve heard this parable my whole life. I always realized it stood for the principle my faith needed to be grounded in the words God gives to us in the Bible, but it was only recently I saw the other powerful purpose of the story. Both the wise man and the foolish man endured brutal storms. Just because one man was wise didn’t mean he avoided storms. It simply meant he survived them.
In Michele Cushatt’s beautiful memoir Undone, she shares what this parable taught her when she received her cancer diagnosis:
From the moment of my diagnosis, I sought to find my rest by building a place with a view. I wanted to see into the future, to predict the outcome of my life and gain a sense of peace based on what I could see. Simply, I wielded worry as a means to control. A house on sand. But rather than control my circumstances, my circumstances controlled me. I focused on the view and, in the process, forgot about my foundation. Thirty-three verses before Jesus’ story of the wise and foolish builders, he said words that held the key to saving me: “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?” [Matt. 6:27]
Boy, I sure tried. Fooled by both panic and pain, I convinced myself that worry gave me a measure of control. From morning until night, I attempted to worry myself into wholeness, as if preparing for the worst would guard me from any unwanted surprises. Only it didn’t. Worry, like cancer, consumes life, eating away at a person from the inside out. It exaggerates the unknown and clouds the known until the worried person sees only the horror of what might be, rather than the beauty of what already is. In his mercy, God pulled me back to the only foundation that could weather my storm. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” [II Cor. 12:9] Not a house with a view of the future but a house with a foundation that won’t fail. God’s presence in the here and now. A promise never to leave, never to give way. Stone, not sand.
Every place she describes worry, you can replace the word with fear. She found the key to breaking fear was returning to the foundation. God is in control. When the storms rage, He will hold you.
Joshua 1:9 – Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Matthew 6:25-27 – Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
Homework:
Read Matthew 8:23-27 – the story of the disciples fear in the face of storms. Remember that even those closest to Jesus worried when circumstances were beyond their controls. Pray about your response to circumstances beyond your control in light of His words.
Write down what fears you are struggling with right now. Write down the best and worst possible outcomes to the circumstances. Look for what is true. Bring each situation to God in prayer every morning this week and see how He transforms your perspective.
Share what you’re learning in the comments here or on the Facebook post.
{To follow this study, you can enter your email to subscribe to the blog or follow our conversation on Facebook. This study is only intended to focus on what God says about fear. If you suffer from crippling anxiety, I encourage you to visit your doctor.}
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