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Gindi Vincent

The Dish on Career, Fashion, Faith, and Family

Bible Studies

Breaking Fear: Part 10, We’ve Already Won

October 22, 2015 by Gindi 2 Comments

fearstudypart10

I received an email this week.  There were three email addresses representing my “cord of three;” women I regularly share with and pray with and live life with.  We’ve been embattled in the past days.  Rarely are we all three in the midst of an all out spiritual battle at the same time.  But in battle simultaneously we are.  At the end of the prayer my friend shared over another’s situation, she wrote this extra note to God: P.S. I’m really afraid now, so please give us brave hearts. 

Yes.

Please, Lord.

Brave hearts.

That’s what these ten weeks have all been working toward.

Breaking fear, even in the midst of the scariest circumstances, to enable each of us to move forward in confidence (even if still shaking) with brave hearts.

How do we do it?

We can’t.  He can.

1.  Acknowledge He can do whatever seems impossible. 

Jeremiah 32:27 – “I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?”

Mark 10:27 – Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”

2.  Recognize you are in a battle. Remember He has already won. 

Deuteronomy 20:4 – Today you are going into battle against your enemies. Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not panic or be terrified by them.  For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.”

II Chronicles 20:17 – You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you…Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.’

Ephesians 6 – Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

3.  Let Him fight for you. 

Exxodus 14:13-14 – Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today… The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Deuteronomy 3:22 – Do not be afraid of them; the Lord your God himself will fight for you.
4.  Release the fear every single morning.  Do not allow the darkness to extinguish the light.

John 1:5 – The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

I Peter 2:9 –  But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

Isaiah 48: 9 – In the time of my favor I will answer you, and in the day of salvation I will help you; I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people, to restore the land
 and to reassign its desolate inheritances, to say to the captives, ‘Come out,’ and to those in darkness, ‘Be free!’

You hold on.  Hang in there.

Let go of the fear that is holding you back and release it to God to fight, and WIN, this battle you are in.

There will always be scary storms.  The Bible tells the story about a house built on the sand and the other on the rock – they are both battered by the storms, but the one built on the rock is still standing at the end.  (Matthew 7)  So will you be standing.  Do not let fear rob you of the joy that comes when the storm passes.  When the victory is won.

 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Filed Under: Bible Studies Tagged With: breaking fear

Breaking Fear: Part 9, When You’re Scared of the Good

October 15, 2015 by Gindi Leave a Comment

fearstudypart9Well friends, we’re nearly done!  You’ve been with me nine weeks as we’ve journeyed what the Bible says about fear and fighting it.

I could likely write another 10 weeks on all kinds of ways the devil will use fear to paralyze us, but we have the tools now to combat those lies and terrors.

There’s something I’ve struggled with on and off for years though and it’s a sneakier fear.  One we don’t typically list when we talk about bad things or uncertainty.

It’s fear that can come on you in the middle of the good.

I actually did a search of my blog because I knew I’d talked about this before.  I’ll share what I found, but one of the most fascinating things I found is how God has hung I John 4:18 around my neck as a promise for YEARS.  Three years ago I wrote about an outing I took to She Speaks, a writers and speakers conference (my first!), and said this:

I was a wreck.  The only thing worse than thinking you might fail is thinking you might succeed.  That afternoon was a roller coaster.  I left the conference for almost an hour to sit on my bed and watch mindless t.v.  When I returned, Amy reappeared to sit with me and walk through the drama even though she had just had her OWN three publishing appointments (which went well).  I ended up confessing that I was terrified my ministry might grow, and then I would screw up and it would explode like my father’s had and end up turning people away from God.  She told me I was nuts and there was only one source causing me to have a massive meltdown.  We went to the next session, which happened to be on God-sized dreams, and the speakers rattled off a list of reasons that indicate you have a God-sized dream.  You know what was near the top of that list?  You are scared.  If you are passionate about what you want to do but are suddenly terrified, you might just have yourself a God-sized dream.  Ugh.   

Then, at the end of the post, I quoted I John 4 as a way to push back against the fear of your dream actually coming true!

Two years later, almost to the day, I was given the same promise of I John 4.  Doesn’t this sound familiar:

I am scared of my dream failing.  I’m at least equally as scared that my dream might succeed.

I am scared of disobeying God.  I’m just about as scared of obedience given some of the things He is asking me to do…

There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear. 

Then I saw I John 4 hung around me in Yosemite, and when I was thinking through career changes, and then it became the THEME verse for this study without me even realizing how it has been written on my heart all these years.  Lest you think you can hear these promises once and be clear of all fear, I’m Exhibit A it’s a constant journey where I move just a little closer to knowing and trusting Him and releasing the fear.

We can become fearful over the good.  Fearful of what success will look like.  Scared of our dreams actually coming true.  We start worrying when the other shoe will drop.  But such a perspective means our view of who God is and how He loves us is warped.  He’s nuts about us.  He wants to see us happy:

We have become such an apprehensive people.  We almost wish against experiencing a beautiful scene in our own lives for fear of what will come next.  There couldn’t be an instance of unadulterated joy unmarred by misfortune.  Misfortune must follow.  What does that say about our faith?  Our perception of God?  Even the most optimistic among us, including me, sees the car accident as an inevitable consequence of the beautiful moment of blessing.  We spend our lives waiting for the other shoe to drop.  It doesn’t have to drop.  Sometimes, there is no other shoe.

There is so much scary in the world today.  The news.  The economy.  Misfortune.  Illness.  Let’s not add fear in when God provides blessings.  Let’s remember how much He loves us and how much He wants the good to happen:

Ephesians 2:10 – For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. 

Matthew 7 – Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.  Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Ephesians 1:  Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will – to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us.

Homework:

1.  List your blessings.  Thank God for them.  Acknowledge how He provides.

2.  Read any of the multiple passages in the Bible which tells of how God loves you and wants such goodness and treasure for you.

3.  Share what you’re learning in the comments on the blog or on Facebook.

Filed Under: Bible Studies Tagged With: breaking fear

Breaking Fear: Part 8, When The Hard Hits

October 8, 2015 by Gindi Leave a Comment

fearstudypart8
I’m sorry, but we don’t believe you will be able to have children.
We are going to have to let you go, please collect your things. 
It’s malignant. 
We couldn’t resuscitate him. 
Your only choice is bankruptcy at this point. 
I don’t love you anymore. 

This is not an easy post to write.

There are no easy answers when the hard comes.

I have faced some of these “hards” up close.  Some, thankfully, I’ve not.

But I have been left, fired, unable to walk, and told I couldn’t get pregnant.

It. Is. Terrifying.

We’ve talked about fear of the unknown, but what happens when the worst actually happens?  When the fear comes creeping into every corner of your conscious thinking and unconscious dreams.  When tears creep out while sitting at your desk or laying in your bed.  When your heart races and your breath shortens until you’re dizzy.

Fear wants to lay claim to your hard season.

Fear wants to make this temporary season your permanent storyline.  Fear wants this hard to define you.  To roadblock you.  To paralyze you.

It’s when the hard comes we most need to Break Fear.

I have no good words so, once again, I turn to the guidance from the scripture.

1.       Do not fear.  This sounds completely ridiculous, but I think it is important to say.  The Bible commands us, over and over again, not to fear.  Not to stop fearing in our own human power, but in His power.  He is right here.  In the middle of the hard.  He knows what comes next.  He knows how He is going to use this for good.  He will hold you up when your knees buckle.  He will whisper words of peace and comfort over you when your heart races and fists clench.

Isaiah 41– So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand…
For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

2.      Pray.  Sometimes, it is literally the only thing we can do about it.  He tells us that when we pray, His peace will guard our minds.  I have this concrete image of His angels of peace and courage coming to stand guard around my head as I pray.  Whether it is crying out “WHY?????” or just crying, He wants us to come talk to Him.  This is hard.  It’s fine to acknowledge that, including when you’re talking to God.  You can be angry or sad or hurt or confused.  Pour it out.

Philippians 4 – Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus….
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength…
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

3.       Trust Him.  I do not know why you are in a hard season.  I do not know why I am in a hard season.  But He knows.  And the hard circumstances I have faced in my life in the past, I can only see now, were used by God for His glory or His kingdom or to move me from a place of even greater danger.

Proverbs 3 – Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Hebrews 11 – Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Psalm 62 – Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, you people; for God is our refuge.

4.       He has this.  He owns everything.  He will act.  He is going to act on your behalf in the middle of this hard.

Psalm 50 – I have no need of a bull from your stall or of goats from your pens, for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills.

Hebrews 10 – Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you endured in a great conflict full of suffering.  Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution….  You suffered along with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.  You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.  For, “In just a little while, he who is coming will come and will not delay.”

Daniel 9 – Now, our God, hear the prayers and petitions of your servant. For your sake, Lord, look with favor on your desolate sanctuary.  Give ear, our God, and hear… Lord, listen! Lord, forgive! Lord, hear and act! For your sake, my God, do not delay, because your city and your people bear your Name!

HOMEWORK:

All I have this week is to mediate on His word – I’ve included these passages which encourage me as I struggle in the hard (there were too many to include them all above, but I think it’s important to have them all handy as you grieve):

Psalm 23:

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Psalm 27:

The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?…
For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock…
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Psalm 18:
I love you, Lord, my strength.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies.
The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.
The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me.
In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears…
He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.

Isaiah 61:

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted… to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

Ephesians 3:

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.  I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,  to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!

Filed Under: Bible Studies Tagged With: breaking fear

Breaking Fear: Part 7, Fear of What Others Say/Think

October 1, 2015 by Gindi Leave a Comment

fearstudy.part7

“She’s ineffective,” she whispered in ears.

“You shouldn’t be involved, she’s going to run that place into the ground,” her voice warned willing listeners.

“She’s a fraud. A phony. It’s all smoke and mirrors,” she repeated over the phone.

This isn’t a short story.

This actually happened to me last year. A professional adversary. And for three months, the attacks nearly crippled me.

The third-hand accounts of the accusations led to constant self-doubt. Panic. Insecurity. But more than anything: FEAR.

Fear about what others would think. Would they believe her words?

Fear about how to respond (or whether to respond). Do I try to fight back? Defend myself or attack in return?

Fear about whether any of the accusations might be true. Was she on to something?

Then a circle of dear friends called my attention to this truth: Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. (Exodus 14:14) {===> Click to Tweet}

I still cling to these words on the days I feel like it’s up to me to win the battle I’m facing. When the fear wells up in my throat and threatens my air supply.

Listen dear friend: God. Holds. Your. Reputation. He has you in His hands. {===> Click to Tweet} Like a flitting sparrow, like a flying swallow, So a curse without cause shall not alight. (Proverbs 26:2)

You do not need to respond. Counter attacks only serve to give credibility to the original attacker and taint your reputation. This is so hard. Instinct is fight or flight. Fight or flight comes from FEAR. Once we trust, way deep down, He will guard our reputation, then the fear dissipates and is replaced with confidence to move forward.

It will always hurt. No one is immune. We can feel sad or frustrated or confused but we shouldn’t live in a state of fear.

Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong;
f
or like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away.
Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun.
Psalm 37

When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the Lord your God will be with you… Today you are going into battle against your enemies. Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not panic or be terrified by them. For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory. Deut 20

This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s… You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you. II Chron. 20:15-17

I wonder if the scripture is SO FULL of promises of protection, defense, and freedom from fear because God knew how hard this would be on us. How our instinct would run contrary to His promises. He understood and so He promised over and over that He has this: See, I will defend your cause and avenge you (Jeremiah 51:36); When they cry out to the Lord because of their oppressors, he will send them a savior and defender, and he will rescue them (Isaiah 19:20); Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you (Deut. 1:29).

Hang in there. This will pass. He will fight for you. Be still.

Homework:

  1. Read Psalm 109 – David gets this. Years after the Exodus, you hear David’s cries from his accusers, but he recognizes God has it and he will praise Him even in the middle of the attacks. Follow up by reading Psalm 37. There is such freedom in his songs.
  2. Release whatever fear you have been holding over what people think about you. Forgive those who have gossiped or attacked or spread a negative storyline against you. Write out a prayer using any of the dozens of scriptures where God promises to protect you, fight for you, defend you, and hold your reputation.
  3. Share what you’re learning in the comments or on Facebook. Thanks for journeying through Breaking Fear with us this fall.

 

Filed Under: Bible Studies

Breaking Fear: Part 6, Fear Over Your Family

September 24, 2015 by Gindi 2 Comments

fearstudyfamily

As we look at the fears which plague us, and from which we can find freedom, this one tops my personal list.  Last week we tackled fears FROM our family, but this week we tackle fears FOR our families.

It’s no wonder.  The world can be a scary place – particularly harrowing for those of us with children.  Headline news blare stories about abductions, abuse so evil you have to shut the tv off, car accidents, disease, and all other manner of heartbreak.

But the fear, once it has a foothold in any one area of our lives, grows into the other areas.  Fear over the fate or life circumstances of our parents, siblings, children, spouse, and “near” kin can paralyze us.  Or at the very least keep us up at night.

Earlier, we tackled fear over things where we have no control.  This is its own unique out-of-control experience.  We want happiness, health, safety, and long life for those we hold most dear.  Yet we have no idea what tomorrow may bring.

Just this week, four of my friends and colleagues lost parents.  While one was lost to cancer, and my friend had time to prepare (making it none the easier mind you), the other three were complete shocks.  One mother hit by an eighteen-wheeler.  One beloved father and grandfather collapsed walking to get his mail and fatally hit his head.  Another daddy didn’t wake up in the morning.

No. Warning.

Families turned upside down over loss they never saw coming.

In the face of these stories, personal and public, how do we keep from holding white knuckled onto those we love?  Staring at the ceiling sleepless and nauseous over what could come?  Hearing a fall or a crack and immediately imagining the worst?

What do we do?  How can we respond?

1. We trust. 

 

They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.  Psalm 112:7

“He trusts in the Lord,” they say, “let the Lord rescue him… you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast.  From birth I was cast on you; from my mother’s womb you have been my God. (Psalm 22)

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deut. 31:8)

Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God I have put my trust; I will not fear.  What can humans do to me?  (Ps. 56:4)

2.  We remember He loves them (kids, spouse, parents…) more than we do.

What man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent?  If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! (Matt. 7:9-11)

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!  (I John 3:1)

3.  We hope. 

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.  “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I hope in Him!” (Lamen. 3:23) 

There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.  (Prov. 23:8)

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.  (Ps. 62:5)

These do not make circumstances any less hard.  Replacing fear with trust takes practice.  It doesn’t take away the unknown.  It doesn’t guarantee a perfect outcome.  But He is the hope as the anchor for our soul, firm and secure. (Heb. 6:19)

And I promise you, He can do a better job than we can.

Our worry permeates our homes and makes our children or family more fearful.  Our panic over what may come undercuts anything we say about our faith and our all-powerful God.  The Bible is clear He has a specific purpose for each of our lives and we have to trust He will accomplish it in those family members we love most even if we don’t understand how or why or when.

Do you pray for them?  Absolutely!  You and I should be on our knees claiming verses with promises of favor and faithfulness over each of them every day.  He wants us to be interceding on their behalf.  But then once we have brought our prayers and requests to His hands, we have to leave them there.  Knowing He holds each one:  He numbers our wanderings and puts our tears in His bottle (Ps. 56:8). 

Homework: 

1.  Read the story of Hagar in Genesis 21:8- 21 – Here’s a momma sent away from her home with her boy and left in the wilderness to die.  God sees her tears.  God provides.  Call on this God who provides when you feel fear.

2.  In your morning prayers, tell God what you are most afraid of.  Acknowledge it.  Then acknowledge that whatever comes, He is still God.  He sees you.  He hears you.  Entrust those you love most, and worry about most, to His perfect care.

3.  Share what you’re learning on the blog or in the Facebook comments.

Filed Under: Bible Studies Tagged With: breaking fear

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