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Gindi Vincent

The Dish on Career, Fashion, Faith, and Family

Bible Studies

Breaking Fear: Part 5, Generational Fear

September 17, 2015 by Gindi 1 Comment

feargeneration

We’re already in week five of our Breaking Fear studies (to read past studies, click on the Bible Studies link on the right) and I hope you’re finding some freedom from fear as you journey with me on my own freedom walk.

Fear comes from many sources and for many reasons, but at the very core of our fears may be some generational baggage.  I’ve previously said I come from a long line of worriers but that minimizes the extreme fear with which those in generations before me struggled.

I have some serious generational fear to contend with.

Now there may be a question if you can pass genetic fear code down, but there’s no question you can pass down bad behaviors or a spirit of fear.

In his book, Signature Sins, Michael Mangis says:

Whether or not families inherit spiritual curses, it is obvious that patterns of sin are passed down through families. Everyone sins; but just as culture…steers our patterns of sin in particular directions, so do our families. 

My blogging friend Amy shares in one of her fear devotionals these words about fear in a family, “Fear can permeate your spirit.  It can infect the energy of your household.  It can hinder the work that God wants you to do – in your family and in those around you.  And if there is a particular stumbling block, we need to make sure we take a higher road.  We can’t blame our parents for our mistakes, but if we know there is a certain example set before us, we can make sure we choose to follow the God’s instead.”

The Bible offers many examples of how a previous generation’s struggle or sin threatens to derail the children if you don’t break the pattern:

He committed all the sins his father had done before him; his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his forefather had been. (I Kings 15:3)

Our fathers sinned and are no more, But we bear their iniquities. (Lamen. 5:7)

So what are we to do if we have been raised with generations fearful before us?  We don’t cast blame and then decide we have to live under it – no!  We find freedom within the pages of the Bible which over and over commands us not to fear for God Almighty is with us:

  1.  Realize your fear may be coming from more than your circumstances or your individual struggles.  This fear is a battle for how we live our lives, and God gives instructions to be on guard, to be strong, and to see the battle waging beyond our immediate situation:  Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  (Ephesians 6)
  2. Give thanks that even though those in our family lineage may have struggled under fear, doubt and worry, we are also the children of God the Father.  Ephesians 5 says, Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love.
  3. We already know from our foundational scripture in this study that perfect love, God’s love, casts out fear.

 

Homework:

  1. Think about what your parents or grandparent struggled with as you grew up.  Were they constantly fretful or full of worry?  Identify ways in which you may have learned fear directly from one you loved and trusted.
  2. Read Ephesians 6 and recognize there may be other factors at work in your fear than your circumstances.  Pray for God to reveal those other forces at play, study the Bible so you can prepare to pray for a release from those generational fears.
  3. Share what you’re learning with the group.

Join us as we tackle fears we experience from other people the next two weeks – fears FOR our family and fears FROM those who have tried to do us harm.

Filed Under: Bible Studies Tagged With: breaking fear

Breaking Fear: Part 4, Out of Control

September 10, 2015 by Gindi Leave a Comment

fearoutofcontrol

We’re in our fourth week of this fall’s Breaking Fear bible study.  We laid the foundation with the antidote to our fears (reminder: love and truth), and then started investigating some of the causes of our fear like last week’s look at the unknown.

Today, we look at the fear that rises up when we have no control over the situation.

I am the first to admit I’m a bit of a control-freak.  So being out of control may engender more fear in me than in others, but I believe everyone has been gripped by fear when they have no control of a situation.

I have also tried to control a situation in order to manage the outcome.  I’ve tried to control schedules and behaviours and relationships and everything else you can imagine.  Why?  Because of some terrifying circumstances growing up when I had no control.

Donald Miller says, Show me a controlling person and I’ll show you a person who is secretly afraid. 

Maybe not even so secretly afraid.

What is it we’re afraid of?  The worst outcome.  The tornado smashing our house against the ground.  The child suffering under addiction. The airplane crashing.  The spouse leaving us.  The best friend dying of cancer.  The layoff list containing our name.  The truck crashing into us.

Each of these fears presents a scenario beyond our control.

There are at least two potential outcomes with each set of facts.  One outcome may actually be the best result.  So if we spend our time in knots over the worst result but get the best result, we have wasted days or weeks or months of our lives in turmoil over something that never happened.  Not only is that a waste of time, it’s unhealthy for us physical and spiritually.

Another potential outcome is the worst.  When the thing we are terrified will happen actually does happen.

What then?

The hard question comes:  Is God still God?  Does He still love me?  Is He still in control?

There’s a story Jesus tells in Matthew 7.  It’s about two builders:

Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.  And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.

I’ve heard this parable my whole life.  I always realized it stood for the principle my faith needed to be grounded in the words God gives to us in the Bible, but it was only recently I saw the other powerful purpose of the story.  Both the wise man and the foolish man endured brutal storms.  Just because one man was wise didn’t mean he avoided storms.  It simply meant he survived them.

In Michele Cushatt’s beautiful memoir Undone, she shares what this parable taught her when she received her cancer diagnosis:

From the moment of my diagnosis, I sought to find my rest by building a place with a view.  I wanted to see into the future, to predict the outcome of my life and gain a sense of peace based on what I could see.  Simply, I wielded worry as a means to control.  A house on sand.  But rather than control my circumstances, my circumstances controlled me.  I focused on the view and, in the process, forgot about my foundation.  Thirty-three verses before Jesus’ story of the wise and foolish builders, he said words that held the key to saving me: “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?” [Matt. 6:27] 

Boy, I sure tried.  Fooled by both panic and pain, I convinced myself that worry gave me a measure of control.  From  morning until night, I attempted to worry myself into wholeness, as if preparing for the worst would guard me from any unwanted surprises.  Only it didn’t.  Worry, like cancer, consumes life, eating away at a person from the inside out.  It exaggerates the unknown and clouds the known until the worried person sees only the horror of what might be, rather than the beauty of what already is.  In his mercy, God pulled me back to the only foundation that could weather my storm.  “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” [II Cor. 12:9]  Not a house with a view of the future but a house with a foundation that won’t fail.  God’s presence in the here and now.  A promise never to leave, never to give way.  Stone, not sand. 

Every place she describes worry, you can replace the word with fear.  She found the key to breaking fear was returning to the foundation.  God is in control.  When the storms rage, He will hold you.

Joshua 1:9 – Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Matthew 6:25-27 – Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Homework: 

Read Matthew 8:23-27 – the story of the disciples fear in the face of storms.  Remember that even those closest to Jesus worried when circumstances were beyond their controls.  Pray about your response to circumstances beyond your control in light of His words.

Write down what fears you are struggling with right now.  Write down the best and worst possible outcomes to the circumstances.  Look for what is true.  Bring each situation to God in prayer every morning this week and see how He transforms your perspective.

Share what you’re learning in the comments here or on the Facebook post.

{To follow this study, you can enter your email to subscribe to the blog or follow our conversation on Facebook. This study is only intended to focus on what God says about fear. If you suffer from crippling anxiety, I encourage you to visit your doctor.}

Filed Under: Bible Studies Tagged With: breaking fear

Breaking Fear: Part 3, The Unknown

September 3, 2015 by Gindi 3 Comments

fearstudypart3

Welcome back!  I’d love to hear what you learned in your study of last week’s look at the Antidote to our fears.  Share what you discovered or if there’s a favorite verse you use as your antidote to fears.

Since we’ve laid the foundation of truth and love, we’re going to tackle what some of our deepest fears are over the next few weeks and find out what Scripture says about them.

Let’s start with some big ones.  Raise your hand if you love the unknown?

No, not your favorite thing.  Mine either.  I like knowing where the ship is sailing.  Inevitably, it gets knocked off course and I’m in the middle of the ocean unsure of where I’m going to land.

Are you scared because you don’t know which college you’ll get into?  Are you worried about where you’ll buy a house you can afford?  Are you tying yourself in knots over any number of questions about your life and family and work?

I’m good at living in fear over the unknown.  I work in the energy industry as do many of my good friends.  If you’ve read any news headline in the past year, then you know the industry is struggling.  Many of my friends have lost good jobs and are sitting in the middle of unknown alley.  I have no idea how continued sector losses may impact me directly.

When these seasons of unknown come, our default setting is often fear.

It’s time to change our default.

God already knows the answers to the questions.  He has absolute certainty of the outcome even in the midst of our uncertain horizon.  He says:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future
.  Jeremiah 29:11

He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters…
He brought me out into a spacious place;

he rescued me because he delighted in me.  II Sam. 22:17, 20

Make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves.
For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict. 
Luke 21: 14-15

In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this:
God has made the one as well as the other.
Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future. 
Eccles. 7:13

Who am I, Lord God, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?
And as if this were not enough in your sight, my God,
you have spoken about the future of the house of your servant.

You, Lord God, have looked on me as though I were the most exalted of men.
  II Chron. 17:16-17

Last fall, I entered a very unknowable season.  I believed the unknown wasn’t by accident but instead by God’s divine hand who specifically planned for me not to know exactly what was next.  For a person who loves knowing (and controlling, that’s next week!), the unknown also introduced extraordinary amounts of fear.  In fact, I realize looking back now how my most crippling fear (which birthed this study) began this time last year as I moved into a season of not knowing what was next.

At the beginning of this period, I began my first study of Mark Batterson’s Draw the Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge.  In his study, Mark encourages you to physically draw a circle around what you are praying over.  So deep had I moved into the unknown that the only word God impressed upon me to write down was “spacious place.”

I had no specific game plan.  My typical master career planning shut down.  My steps to become a better wife or mother or me evaporated.  It became clear I had to take a break from my speaking and book goals.  I walked into the quiet unknown.  And I kept coming back to the words of David as he celebrated being brought into a spacious place.

David had just exited a dark unknown season.  He knew he was called to be king, but the current king wanted him dead.  David was living the life of a fugitive unsure of how God could fulfill His promise of a crown.  David cried out in his distress and fear, and God brought David “into a spacious place and rescued me because He delighted in me…[He] turns my darkness into light…[He] provided a broad path for my feet so my ankles do not give way…” (II Samuel 22)

This is God’s promise to each of us.  He knows our future.  He has a promise to fulfill through us.  He will give us hope in place of the fear if we will trust His knowing in lieu of our having to know what’s next.

Homework:

Read David’s insightful prayer of thankfulness in II Samuel following his dark season of unknown once King Saul died.

Consider starting a daily devotional where your mind has a daily reminder God holds your future and has a great plan for your life.  Mediate on the words you uncover to combat the fear of what will come next.

Share what you’re learning in the comments here or on the Facebook post.

{To follow this study, you can enter your email to subscribe to the blog or follow our conversation on Facebook. This study is only intended to focus on what God says about fear. If you suffer from crippling anxiety, I encourage you to visit your doctor.}

Filed Under: Bible Studies Tagged With: breaking fear

Breaking Fear: Part 2, The Antidote

August 27, 2015 by Gindi 2 Comments

fearpart2

You may already know this, but in the NIV version of the Bible, because each translation works out a little differently, there are 541 references to the word fear or afraid.  That’s only a little over 100 less than the number of times the word love appears. 

Why? 

Because humans are scared. 

I am chief scaredy-cat. 

This has nothing to do with your willingness to bungee jump or ride motorcycles or take on towering rollercoasters.  I’ve done all of those and loved every moment. 

This is fear of sickness or war or loneliness or mayhem or need or the unknown.  Scaredy-cat actually minimizes what’s really going on in our hearts and heads here.  In certain moments, the fear is more akin to terror and can paralyze us. 

In this fall’s study, Breaking Fear, we’re going to tackle those kinds of fears and understand what the Bible says about them.  But before we dive into what those fears are, let’s look at all the places the Bible counteracts fear without a single reference to the word. 

First, my foundation for this entire study is I John 4:18:  God is love so… There is no fear in love.  Guess what?  Love is referenced 686 times in the NIV version of the Bible.  See, even in the Scripture, love beats fear. 

Second, there are many other Biblical antidotes to fear:  Peace (mentioned 249 times in the NIV), Comfort (mentioned 75 times in the NIV), Deliver(er) (mentioned 252 times in the NIV), Rest (mentioned 508 times in the NIV), and on and on the list goes with the ways in which God delivers a balm to our fear. 

If we go into this study knowing God offers peace and comfort and deliverance and rest from the fears which threaten to throw us off course, then we can tackle our individual fears confidently.  We can rest assured He has the perfect antidote. 

What is one of the most powerful responses to fear?  Besides love, I believe it is TRUTH. 

If you have a relationship with Jesus, then you have the truth IN YOU.  It’s already there.  See this promise in John 15:26:  But when the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me.

The Spirit of truth has already been sent to you.  And just a few verses up in this same chapter of John, God tells us what else is living in us as a part of a mad-powerful concoction against fear:  As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.  If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love…These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.

So we’re starting out with this: Truth!  Love!  Joy! 

Take that Fear!

What else do we need?  Well, I can still shake in my boots when fear assails me.  Paul, who should know after everything he went through, offers this guarantee in Romans 8:

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?… Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?…in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.  For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

There is nothing, nothing, nothing, which can separate you or me from the Love of God.  Once we know, from our foundational verse, there is no fear in love, then we must acknowledge nothing can separate us from the safe place where fear cannot exist.  

Not only that, look at all those things in the list of things Paul says can’t separate us from God’s love:  death, life, distress, peril, famine, powers, things happening now, things happening in the future, any created thing, etc.  What does that list look like?  I don’t know about you, but that list looks a lot like a list of my fears. 

Sit with that for a minute. 

Nothing you are afraid of today can separate you from God and His love.  {===>Click to Tweet}  And in His love, those fears are not allowed to live. 

You just annihilated your fears with His love.  

Imagine a video game and the death blaster is His love and all you need to do is point it at each one of your fears.  Game over.  Love wins. 

As someone who has sat in deep fear and anxiety on a regular basis, I recognize it doesn’t work out quite so simply in real life.  But I wonder if I’m not complicating it all.  

If we stand on this TRUTH, then our fear must die. 

Homework:

Memorize I John 4:18.  Have it at the ready when your fear comes calling.

Study and mediate on John 15 and Romans 8.  These are such foundational scripture passages.  They contain so much goodness beyond their link to love and fear.  Particularly focus on Romans 8:31-39 and John 15:9-17 and 26-27. 

Make a list of your fears.  Let’s tackle each one of them this fall.

Share what God is teaching you either in the comments here on the Facebook link.

 I’m so grateful to share this journey with you. 

Filed Under: Bible Studies Tagged With: breaking fear

Breaking Fear: Part 1, An Introduction

August 20, 2015 by Gindi 2 Comments

fearpart1

I’ve never physically been under attack.  I’ve never had a gun pointed at my head.  I’ve never experienced terrorism up close and personal.  I’ve never been beaten and robbed.

I have, however, experienced acute anxiety.  The kind that wakes you up at night.  The kind that sends you running to catch an earlier flight out only to then worry the earlier flight you caught will crash.  The kind that makes you reach over to jostle your napping child to make sure he’s still breathing.

I believe there is anxiety which needs to be medically treated.  I fully support those who are able to find respite through a psychologist or medication.

I also believe there is a spiritual component to our fear.  As I am neither a doctor nor a psychologist, this ten week study looks at the way to wage spiritual war on the fears which can cripple us.  For some, the spiritual knowledge will couple with the medical knowledge in combatting their struggle.

This is a relatively new battlefield for me.  While I’ve always worried a little, the white-knuckled terror I’ve faced on and off recently emerged only in the past two years.

It’s not surprising so many of us are struggling with fear.  We live in a 24 hour news cycle.  The more heinous the crime, the more media attention it garners.  Our iPhones light up alerting us to beheadings and explosions.  We hear the horrific stories of sexual exploitation and bear up under the heartbreaking news there are more slaves in America today than in our nation’s history.  I can’t watch YouTube videos of anything knowing it will only add to my restless sleep.

Forty million Americans suffer from an anxiety disorder.  That’s nearly one fifth of our country’s population.  Yet, comparatively, we’re one of the safest societies to live in.  Our planes rarely crash.  Our buildings rarely blow up.  Our soil hasn’t seen the genocide or terrorism common in other countries.

Why are we all so terrified? 

I believe…

I started writing that sentence over and over and couldn’t finish it until God asked me, “What DO you believe, Gindi?”

I believe God is love.  I believe in His Love there is no fear.  I believe perfect Love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment and there is no fear of punishment in perfect Love.  (I John 4)

 

I do believe those words.  I’m just not always sure how to make sure the fear is driven out.

 

So this ten week bible study is really a journey we’ll be going on together.  A journey from fear to freedom.

 

It’s time for Breaking Fear. 

 

{To follow this study, you can enter your email to subscribe to the blog or follow our conversation on Facebook.  This study is only intended to focus on what God says about fear.  If you suffer from crippling anxiety, I encourage you to visit your doctor. }

Filed Under: Bible Studies Tagged With: breaking fear

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