Gindi Vincent

The Dish on Career, Fashion, Faith, and Family

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28 Days: Day 8, Swing and A Miss

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Okay. So on Day 8 of my 28 days of writing, technically, I missed.

Yes, this says Day 8.

And I’m going to backdate the publishing so it appears as though it ran on Day 8.

But y’all.

I’m writing it on Day 9.

Plus I’ve got to actually write Day 9.

So I’m going to give myself a little grace.

It was a Saturday.

I was fried.

We were all five home but running.

Little bit had a basketball game. Plus the boys had one at a conflicting time, well conflicting enough that Bray and I couldn’t make both (I hate it when that happens – and it appears as though it may happen again next weekend because game times are moving so I’ll miss a BIG game).

Then, the boys had baseball tryouts today (tomorrow if this was written on Day 8) and I realized we were out of a bunch of stuff. They needed new baseball pants and cleats because have I mentioned HOW FAST THEY ARE ALL GROWING!?!?! (Have I written that I had to buy L size SEVEN women’s running shoes this week…)

Then we got home and I’d gotten the wrong size (well actually it was mislabeled but tomatoh-tamahtoe) and then had to go back to Academy. And we were practicing. Plus we cooked out because it was simply spectacular weather and you have to seize every one of those days in Houston.

So.

This is a Day 8 post, but technically on Day 9. I’m off to write on actual Day 9. Thanks for hanging with me team.

28 Days: Day 7, Meaning

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I arrived at the T Bar M Ranch last night. Mind full of racing thoughts from work and home and the leadership conference ahead of me.

I mentioned, I’m speaking about meaning.

Well, that’s an easy topic to tackle… (Insert sarcastic face here.)

I’m also talking about relationships. That topic I know. I’ve had discussions in large and small groups about the key relationships you need to have and I love this topic. Probably because I love relationships.

But meaning, well that’s a whole other thing.

When I arrived, I dropped my bags and joined their cocktail reception. Several of the steering committee members I’ve now known for years, and they’ve become good friends. We talked and talked and talked and the topics ranged from funny kid dilemmas and how you met your partner to tough hard life challenges.

There are some things we women do regularly. We form deep connections and share our stories, but we also tend to hide what’s really happening behind a layer of mascara and smiling, Fine.

Shauna Niequist says, If the life you’ve crafted for yourself is too heavy, then it’s too heavy, no matter if the people on either side of you are carrying more or less.

It’s hard to living meaningfully when you’re hanging on by a thread.

When you look at how you want to live, and what you want to leave behind, what are you doing to further that goal.

Where are you spending yourself? And to what end?

I’ve given more of myself to strangers and people who stand in line after events that I have to my neighbors, my friends, my family. I come home weary and self-protective, pulled into a shell of exhaustion and depleted emotions. Present over Perfect, Chapter on Legacy

Insert more of myself to work and leading and speaking and I get that exact sentiment. It’s why I’ve been in the process of stripping so much away and digging into what really matters.

For me, those things are: Jesus, Bray, my incredible triplets, and my best friends. Am I deeply investing in them? If the answer is yes, and I’m not utterly depleted, then I can keep giving to others. But when those on the outside are getting more of me than those on the inside, something needs to change.

So I’m heading over to speak. And hear other’s stories. And share some of my own. But then I go home. And pour into the people there. It will be messy and chaotic and rewarding and upsetting and funny and all of the things.

Most of all, it will be worth it.

28 Days: Day 6, Ode to Coffee

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I’m pretty tired today. 

There are a lot of things I can do to re-energize myself.  One, I can sleep.  But that’s a way’s away.  Two, I can car dance to pop music.  That only lasts for so long though and doesn’t really work, say, here at my desk. 

But I always have coffee. 

I don’t understand people who don’t drink coffee (ahem, my best friend!).  I’m learning to trust them even though I’m deeply suspicious of how they make it without caffeine. 

So, on this sleepy Day 6 of my 28 day writing challenge, I bring you this deep, thought-provoking Ode to Coffee (haha!).  Okay, so maybe I’m a little punchy, but I am awake:

In the morning
I hear the drip drip drip
The smell wafts to our room
I’m like a dog, yip, yip, yip
I like mine black
Not all milky and creamy
Just give me a big mug
That’s hot, dark and steamy
On my long commute
I sip from my tall travel mug
I listen to podcasts
And coffee gives me a warm hug
So for all of you
Who haven’t found this delight
I highly recommend it
To keep you awake until it’s night

28 Days: Day 5, Breathe

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Promise me that you will not spend so much time treading water and trying to keep your head above the waves that you forget, truly forget, how much you have always loved to swim.
T.K. Gregson

I’m five days into this whole writing every day in February thing but it feels like 15.

Did you know, it’s only Wednesday?

Last night, there was a big blow up at my house. Everyone in our house fights on occasion, I think it’s ultimately a good thing because you know what people are thinking/feeling, but yesterday was a particular doozy.

Compounded by all the usual things: too much work, widespread exhaustion, a dog that just ate a brand new pair of pricey kid shoes, kids unraveling because they’d been good at school all day, people not feeling supported or heard, and general disobedience and lack of grace.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot this morning. A morning I got to kick off with prayer and a good friend, a precious rarity.

How do we go from largely keeping it all together to a complete and utter meltdown in seconds?

Then, I read that quote by Gregson.

I have forgotten how much I love to swim.

I am an optimist. If I meet you, I will believe you are intrinsically good. (My mind can be changed, but that’s where I start.) I love to laugh and sing and dance and ride rollercoasters.

Lately, I haven’t done a lot of that. Honestly, I’ve been barely keeping my head above water.

This is a change season. A shifting (and sifting) season.

So maybe, because everything feels just right there on the surface, my joy has lost of some of its luster.

Ironically, in the middle of this treading water instead of remember my love of swimming, I’m speaking a fair amount. Four speeches in two months and two just this week.

I spoke for the Society of Petroleum Engineers last Friday, and I’m doing a workshop this Friday for my favorite leadership academy. As I’ve been digging into new material, I’ve been looking at some of the folks I’ll be speaking to which, crazily enough, led me to this quote.

I’ve been researching how people work and lead meaningfully. How they work more intentionally and daily live into their values. A lot of the learnings have been inspirational, and yet I found myself losing my head last night. Treading water. Forgetting about my true loves.

It’s an iterative process this whole doing life thing.

And you can take gigantic steps backwards just when you’re making progress.

I don’t have any words of wisdom on how not to make all those missteps. I’ll just remind you we’re in it together. And despite appearances, no one is doing it perfectly.

And finally, most importantly, remember your love for swimming. Do whatever you need to do to move out of a constant “treading water” cycle and into doing what you love, more times than not.

28 Days: Day 4, Present

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And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good. John Steinbeck

I’m reading and re-reading Present over Perfect, by Shauna Niequist, in my current season.  I’ve even taken to reading excerpts to my two best friends over voxer sometimes in the morning.  (I’m sure they’re thrilled with this development). 

You’ll probably hear a lot from this book during this little 28 day writing challenge.  In one chapter, which leads with the above quotation, she writes this after having gotten caught up in the chaos of Christmas perfection one season:

It’s still a tremendous temptation for me to spin out into achievement or efficiency or performance instead of dwelling deeply in life as it presents itself each moment… Present over perfect living is real over image, connecting over comparing, meaning over mania, depth over artifice.  Present over perfect living is the risky and revolutionary belief that the world God has created is beautiful and valuable on its own terms, and that it doesn’t need to be zhuzzed up and fancy in order to be wonderful.  Sink deeply into the world as it stands.  Breathe in the smell of rain and the scuff of leaves as they scrape across driveways on windy nights. This is where life is…

I was told, from a young age, I was a perfectionist.  Maybe I was.  As a child, slightly OCD and introverted, I liked things neat and tidy and well planned.  After my parent’s divorce before 8th grade and then a crippling back disease that left me bedridden in 11th grade, I realized that as much as I wanted to clutch control, I didn’t have any.  Of course, this made me want it all the more. My eating disorder in college was just another attempt to achieve perfection a few years later when family relationships went awry. 

I’ve tried to party my way or work my way or love my way or volunteer my way or work out my way to this ambiguous summit it seemed to me other people reached.  I needed to climb my way to some pinnacle that I couldn’t really see or understand but which drove me to chase awards and leadership positions and social engagements and any number of commitments beyond what God actually wanted for me. 

One of my favorite verses is in Ephesians, Chapter 2: For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.  I love this idea of all the things God has pre-planned for you since the time of your birth.  But you know what I do?  I skip over the two verses before this one. I think, oh, God needs to me to do a bunch of things, I’m going to run go do those and create a plan and knock the socks of God with my ability. 

Mercy.

You know what it says right before this whole big plan God has in store?  It says, For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so no one can boast.

No one can boast.

Not by works.

Not of yourself.

Well take that, little self-propelled planning perfectionist. 

And, to boot, what if the plan He has for me is SMALL by today’s standards?  What if it isn’t promotions and awards and money and a marquee name?  What if it’s investing well in my children?  Investing in my marriage?  Loving friends?  Loving others?

I drove little bit to school this morning for Girls on the Run.  She and I were battling over which one of us loved the other one more.  Without being able to resolve the conflict, we stopped to pray before she went inside.  We looked around and began:
Thank you God for these trees.  For this green grass and the cool breeze.  Thank you for this car and our home and our school.  Thank you for our family, mom, and daddy, and S, and L, and W.  Thank you for the sun that will come today and the rain that will come tomorrow. 

And on and on. 

I felt deeply centered as I drove in Houston traffic to my office. 

Present over perfect.