Random

It is Sunday.

The 16th of February.

We are in Louisiana with fields and cattle and tractors moving hay bales.

The sun came out, apropos on Sun-day. A nice change from the gray gloom that sat on the land yesterday.

I did very little. I ran an errand into town and baked and set out appetizers and s’more fixins at dusk around the fire.

The dog smells and is in his element. Barking at everything with a motor or on four legs.

The kids caught crawfish and set out bait traps and fed the cows out of the back of the pick up while I cringed because I just knew they’d fall out. City girl, they’d mutter.

The sky changed colors and everyone told stories until it was black out. Between the s’mores and the cheeses, we barely had an appetite left for dinner so we just grilled salmon (this time not setting anything on fire) and called it done.

I am writing about the small and remembering how gorgeous these small spaces and moments are.

Okay. So on Day 8 of my 28 days of writing, technically, I missed.

Yes, this says Day 8.

And I’m going to backdate the publishing so it appears as though it ran on Day 8.

But y’all.

I’m writing it on Day 9.

Plus I’ve got to actually write Day 9.

So I’m going to give myself a little grace.

It was a Saturday.

I was fried.

We were all five home but running.

Little bit had a basketball game. Plus the boys had one at a conflicting time, well conflicting enough that Bray and I couldn’t make both (I hate it when that happens – and it appears as though it may happen again next weekend because game times are moving so I’ll miss a BIG game).

Then, the boys had baseball tryouts today (tomorrow if this was written on Day 8) and I realized we were out of a bunch of stuff. They needed new baseball pants and cleats because have I mentioned HOW FAST THEY ARE ALL GROWING!?!?! (Have I written that I had to buy L size SEVEN women’s running shoes this week…)

Then we got home and I’d gotten the wrong size (well actually it was mislabeled but tomatoh-tamahtoe) and then had to go back to Academy. And we were practicing. Plus we cooked out because it was simply spectacular weather and you have to seize every one of those days in Houston.

So.

This is a Day 8 post, but technically on Day 9. I’m off to write on actual Day 9. Thanks for hanging with me team.

I arrived at the T Bar M Ranch last night. Mind full of racing thoughts from work and home and the leadership conference ahead of me.

I mentioned, I’m speaking about meaning.

Well, that’s an easy topic to tackle… (Insert sarcastic face here.)

I’m also talking about relationships. That topic I know. I’ve had discussions in large and small groups about the key relationships you need to have and I love this topic. Probably because I love relationships.

But meaning, well that’s a whole other thing.

When I arrived, I dropped my bags and joined their cocktail reception. Several of the steering committee members I’ve now known for years, and they’ve become good friends. We talked and talked and talked and the topics ranged from funny kid dilemmas and how you met your partner to tough hard life challenges.

There are some things we women do regularly. We form deep connections and share our stories, but we also tend to hide what’s really happening behind a layer of mascara and smiling, Fine.

Shauna Niequist says, If the life you’ve crafted for yourself is too heavy, then it’s too heavy, no matter if the people on either side of you are carrying more or less.

It’s hard to living meaningfully when you’re hanging on by a thread.

When you look at how you want to live, and what you want to leave behind, what are you doing to further that goal.

Where are you spending yourself? And to what end?

I’ve given more of myself to strangers and people who stand in line after events that I have to my neighbors, my friends, my family. I come home weary and self-protective, pulled into a shell of exhaustion and depleted emotions. Present over Perfect, Chapter on Legacy

Insert more of myself to work and leading and speaking and I get that exact sentiment. It’s why I’ve been in the process of stripping so much away and digging into what really matters.

For me, those things are: Jesus, Bray, my incredible triplets, and my best friends. Am I deeply investing in them? If the answer is yes, and I’m not utterly depleted, then I can keep giving to others. But when those on the outside are getting more of me than those on the inside, something needs to change.

So I’m heading over to speak. And hear other’s stories. And share some of my own. But then I go home. And pour into the people there. It will be messy and chaotic and rewarding and upsetting and funny and all of the things.

Most of all, it will be worth it.

I’m pretty tired today. 

There are a lot of things I can do to re-energize myself.  One, I can sleep.  But that’s a way’s away.  Two, I can car dance to pop music.  That only lasts for so long though and doesn’t really work, say, here at my desk. 

But I always have coffee. 

I don’t understand people who don’t drink coffee (ahem, my best friend!).  I’m learning to trust them even though I’m deeply suspicious of how they make it without caffeine. 

So, on this sleepy Day 6 of my 28 day writing challenge, I bring you this deep, thought-provoking Ode to Coffee (haha!).  Okay, so maybe I’m a little punchy, but I am awake:

In the morning
I hear the drip drip drip
The smell wafts to our room
I’m like a dog, yip, yip, yip
I like mine black
Not all milky and creamy
Just give me a big mug
That’s hot, dark and steamy
On my long commute
I sip from my tall travel mug
I listen to podcasts
And coffee gives me a warm hug
So for all of you
Who haven’t found this delight
I highly recommend it
To keep you awake until it’s night