Gindi Vincent

The Dish on Career, Fashion, Faith, and Family

Women

2024 New Year’s Resolution: More

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Last year, my word for 2023 was “Less.”

My focus was on less. Less food so I could lose 32 pounds in 8 months. Less time on all our devices. Less spending and collecting stuff. Less busyness. 

This year, my word is “More.”

Why? Well I’ll explain after I report out on less.

For the first half of the year, I did pretty well with less. I definitely spent less and I lost over 20 pounds being very careful about food and drink.

I wasn’t so great about the busy thing but also here’s the reality: I have three teenagers, all who have a social life and play multiple sports, I have a husband who works, and I’m General Counsel for a big company’s global supply chain. My life is just going to be busy. When the kids go off to college in four and a half years, my life won’t be as busy. And I’ll be sad. So I’m just going to be okay with the busy.

What I’m not okay with is that the wheels fell off the “less” bus from September through December. I had a big 50th birthday party and allowed that time to release the restraint on spending and eating/drinking and then I never put the restraints back on. Which means I’m just a few pounds lighter today than I was this time last year despite the gains I’d made earlier.

Sigh.

However, this year as I mentioned I’m going to focus on MORE! It sounds happy and fun and it’s also pretty practical.

What does this look like?

One: More Movement. Last year, I was focused on diet. That won’t be going away, it’s still important, but after my January 5K and a pretty bad spring ankle injury, I allowed movement to drop. Yet everywhere I look all the “experts” are basically saying you’re a crazy person if you’re not walking every day. For 2024, that means I move MORE!

Two: More Intentionality. In my nutty busy life, I can autopilot things which are important. I want to be more intentional about really hearing my kids. I want to be more intentional about what I drink or eat. More intentional about who and what I say yes to as opportunities (or detours) come my way.

Three: More connected to a community of faith. We left our church last January and we’ve been drifting all of 2023. It has been hard. I’ve learned the church which may be a good fit for me, isn’t a good fit for my family, so we’re unmoored.  I’d like to plug into something that grounds me and grows my faith. More Jesus this year.

Four: More flexibility. AGH! I’m not flexible. But the kids are going to high school this year. I need to be open minded about how our lives look. I need to be more flexible about what our schedules do (or don’t do).  My ability to operate with less notice is going to need to grow. More willingness to try new things and operate in a new medium is going to be critical to thriving in this new season.

What about you? Do you have a word this year? A focus? I’d love to hear about it. Praying we can all lean into the joy and challenges that arise in the year ahead.  

2023 Books In Review

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Every month this year, I posted on Facebook what I’d read and which books I liked (all those posts are public). With the addition of serious use of Audible this year, I powered through so many books (and just mind your business about the 50 unread books in my Audible queue, it’s a lot neater than a nightstand).

In total, I read (and I consider an Audible a “read” too) 71 fiction books and 28 nonfiction.

I decided I’d write about my top 5 fiction reads because as you can see from my annual count I love fiction, and I only have one truly “favorite” in nonfiction. Before delving into the individual books, I wanted to mention a few *new-to-me* authors this year I really enjoyed even if their books didn’t make it into my top 5 list.  They include Abby Jiminez, Sara Nisha Adams, JoJo Moyes, Nita Prose and Kevin Wilson. I read more than one book from each of them and I hadn’t ever read any before this year. Some of my regular favs also made appearances in my queue this year, including Kristin Hannah, Katherine Center, Ann Patchett and Emily Henry. I tackled a few classics I’d read numerous times before and I plan to do it again in 2024.

Top 5 Fiction for 2023:

The Reading List by Sara Nisha Adams – I have recommended this to everyone. The story is told from two character’s perspectives, every other chapter. Mukesh is a widower living in London and desperately missing his wife. Aleisha is a teen girl who stumbles upon a crumpled “Reading List” of books at the library where she works. As each character reads the books from the list, the story unfolds and they develop a unique connection which winds around to a beautiful ending. In addition to being original and moving, this also sparked the desire of me to read other books from this Reading List. I read Rebecca for the first time, which I loved; I reread Pride and Prejudice which is still my number one book of all time; and I added Little Women and Beloved to my reread list.

The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah – There are so many beautiful Hannah reads, but this is my new favorite. Set in the 1970s, in the wilderness of Alaska, the story takes places over the years of the protagonist’s teenage years alongside her hippie mom and abusive Vietnam vet father. It is beautiful and sweeping and intimate and utterly heartbreaking and I cried at the end and I haven’t done that in a while. It stands alongside Four Winds as some of her best work. This year I also read Magic Hour and Winter Garden by Hannah and would recommend both of those as well if you get addicted to her writing as I have.

The Maid by Nita Prose – I was torn with whether to put The Maid or The Mystery Guest in the top 5, but I had to select The Maid because it is the book that starts it all. I fell in love with Molly the Maid and found her voice charming and original. She reminds me every so slightly of one of my beloved childhood heroines, Amelia Bedelia. Molly is quite literal like sweet Amelia and her careful study with how to engage with the more ordinary among us is poignant. While her loneliness after the death of her gran is sad, she is not pitiable but rather endearing and plucky and I love getting the bottom to this fun mystery.

Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson – I’d never read Wilson before and now I’ve read three of his books. This is the clear stand out. He’s a weird genius. This book is about two children who spontaneously burst into flames, and that’s all I’m going to say, and it doesn’t give anything away because they’re on fire on the cover. The story tells so much more than what’s on the page and I love how bizarre and wonderful Wilson’s imagination is.

Someone Else’s Shoes by JoJo Moyes – this was a tough one. I actually read five of her books this year. My first one was The Giver of Stars which is period fiction and the strength of the character and nature of the women’s friendships nearly won out over Someone Else’s Shoes. This one is set in modern day England and isn’t a classic “best of” book but I loved how the two lead women characters grew and transformed from this one pair of shoes and how their stories ended up dovetailing into each other’s with a wonderful ending (life’s too short for only hard tragic endings).

With an honorable mention of Tom Lake by Ann Patchett. I go back and forth on this because I listened to this book on Audible narrated by Meryl Streep.  The narration was excellent. I’ve talked to several friends who have read it now and I wonder whether I would have just thought the book was “good” if it wasn’t for Streep’s performance which made it “great” for me. So ultimately I moved it to an honorable mention because the story does start slow, but it was in the top 5 for most of this post. I loved the lead character’s reconstruction of her youthful love affair and how it ultimately paved the path for the beautiful life she led.

And while I don’t have a nonfiction book in my top 5, It.Goes.By.So.Fast by Mary Louise Kelley would absolutely be the number one pick on my nonfiction list. This shares the story of Kelley’s oldest son’s senior year and her work to slow down her career to be able to experience it. She’s had an extraordinary career but sometimes that’s come at the expense mothering two sons. The story about the school nurse calling her while she was in a war zone in the Middle East and her feeling so helpless felt incredibly relatable.  If your kids are growing up too quickly, as mine are, and you fight being everything for everyone, this is a must read. 

As for the books that I am MOST looking forward to in 2024, the first is absolutely The Women by Kristin Hannah. I can’t wait! I’ve also preorered Alex Michaelides’ The Fury which releases this month – he wrote The Silent Patient which was a crazy twisty thriller and I expect this to be as well. Daisy Goodwin’s Diva is about to drop, historical fiction about Maria Callas, and I thoroughly enjoyed her earlier books, The American Heiress and Victoria. Some of my other favorite authors have new books dropping in the next 6 months, including Becoming Madam Secretary by Stephanie Dray, Just for the Summer by Abby Jimenez, The Twilight Garden by Sara Nisha Adams, Funny Story by Emily Henry, The Demon of Unrest by Erik Larson and The Rom-Commers by Katherine Center. SO MUCH GOOD COMING! I’ll be here to give you the skinny when I tackle them.

Sound off! What did you read this year that I must pick up? What should I avoid?  (If you’re curious, I would warn you off of the horrific Colleen Hoover, I tried one this year and was disgusted; also I didn’t like Magnificent Lives of Marjorie Post, Lincoln in the Bardo, The Jetsetters, An Immense World, and several Hilderbrand’s.)

One Year After The Bell

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That’s me. Today. 

My six month oncologist visit happened to fall today.

One year after my last radiation treatment. 

March 31st. 

It happened to be just before Easter weekend last year. Lots of analogies running through my head.

It’s been a bear of a week. (More on that tomorrow.)

I’ve been all upside down and inside out and it was all totally unrelated to this.

My friend asked me last month if I’d write to mark this anniversary. I wasn’t sure.

I went back and read what I wrote six months after the surgery.  On August 4th.

The side effects are largely gone. No more itching, thankfully. My range of motion on the right side is back.

But I’m having hot flashes from the Tamoxifen. And weight gain. I’m really heavy right now and uncomfortable about it most of the time.

My breasts are scarred up and I don’t like to see them. I’m super thankful I have them, mind you, but they’re a constant reminder.

I’m grateful. Regularly. 

I’m amazed that the cancer was caught early, cut out in the surgery and I didn’t need chemotherapy.

I guess I’ve wondered how to live in the in between. 

Part of what I’ve been doing is stepping back from my relationship with Christ.

It’s probably why I haven’t written. 

I don’t know how to say that. 

I’m not leaving the faith or anything, but I’ve sort of stepped into a selfish cycle.

Isn’t that terrible? 

After all of the goodness of God and others, I’ve been pretty self focused the past four or five months.

I’ve focused on my kids and on my job and on spending money and lots of things surrounding me and mine, but not so much on what God wants me to do next.

This tension has cropped up between sacrificing everything because God has been so incredibly faithful despite my faithlessness (the whole Samuel’s mother giving him back to God idea) and squeezing everything into this life possible because who knows when it will end. Whether or not it’s what God wants. 

It’s the ugliest part of how I’ve been processing. 

So I don’t have a rainbows and sunshine anniversary post. 

I’m struggling but I’m also okay. 

The doctor said everything looked good today and I was utterly thankful for that.

I can pray every day, which I do, and thank God, which I do, but still not live in a space where God wants me to be.

I tried to write a final line to this post a dozen different ways. To wrap this up neatly. I kept deleting them. Because everything sounded trite and untrue. I don’t know what’s next. But maybe I’ll come back here again.

Say Hello and Wave Goodbye

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It’s inevitable.

With each new door that opens, you leave the last room behind as you walk through.

I just left a room. A chapter. An era.

For nine years, I worked at a global energy company. I joined after 14 years in private practice. I moved to the position because I had toddler triplets and didn’t feel I could juggle the demands of business development and the billable hour while being a present mom. We’d waited so long to have a family, I didn’t want to miss out on watching them grow.

I was incredibly fortunate in that I had a great nine years. I served in different roles, including this last one of over four and a half years where I got to serve as the lawyer for a massive joint venture project. Cooler than even the work, which was really cool, were the people. These clients have been the most incredible ones of my career. They became dear friends and made my day-to-day work an absolute dream.

I loved coming to work. I loved what I did and who I got to hang out with.

That all made the walking through the open door harder.

I basically want to hold on to everyone forever. Add all the new people but keep all the old ones too. That can get tricky after multiple career changes and moves.

Before COVID hit last year, I started thinking about whether it made sense to move. But COVID hit, and all that went on the back burner.

At the end of 2020, I dusted off those thoughts. But cancer hit, and all that went back on the back burner.

So when I finished radiation and celebrated Easter, I started asking God if it was time to go. There were three things I was looking for (in addition to all the basics like wonderful people, competitive comp, etc.): a leadership role, a diverse industry, and closer to home.

The only job I interviewed for had all three.

I will go from a 33 mile commute, one way, to a one and half mile commute. I know, I drove it yesterday to specifically measure my commute home.

I will be doing a lot of different things, but it will be more technology focused. And… I will have the chance to serve as the Assistant General Counsel with lots of opportunity for career growth.

This last one wasn’t about the title. As you know, I’m incredibly passionate about leadership and diversity and development and corporate culture. I wanted a seat at the table because I wanted to invest this into a corporate law department.

However, all that excitement about the opportunity didn’t make the goodbye any easier.

Last week was hard. Amazing clients threw me some farewell parties and we got to swap our funny stories from our adventure together. I received kind notes and generous words. And I hugged a bunch of people and tried not to cry.

Now that the goodbyes have concluded, I drove away from my work campus last Friday at lunch with no work computer, badge, cell phone, or email, I’m ready.

I feel really ready.

So I’m running all my last minute errands today because tomorrow I’m going to be a new hire. With a fresh backpack and water bottle, ready to tackle the world. I get to meet new people and learn new things and I LOVE learning new things. I’m sure I’ll feel inexperienced and nervous too, because a lot of this is going to be new. But I’ll grow and stretch and test out a key tenet of my faith: My grace is sufficient for you for my strength is made perfect in weakness.

I’m excited to say hello now that I’ve waved goodbye.

Four Weekends: No. 3

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Here we are, already at Weekend No. 3! I started this four weekend series with No. 1, celebrating the kids. Then yesterday covered No. 2, family time!

Today, I’m talking about a favorite topic: GIRLFRIENDS! Weekend No. 3 was a much needed, much overdue girls trip.

I won’t get into the details of how it totally came together last minute for me, or how a friend of mine invited me even though I didn’t know the other women on the trip.

What I will say is that it was absolutely perfect. Six women. All within about a decade in age (with me being the senior citizen). All working momma lawyers. But even more, deep women of faith, with great interests, varied musical tastes, and a love of wine and coffee.

These were my people.

The crazy thing is, this is the only weekend that would have even worked. October is mayhem with work and sports and birthdays. But early one Friday morning, I hopped on a flight using my frequent flyer miles, and zipped up to Northern California for a weekend in Sonoma, my favorite part of wine country.

I really think we could have plopped down anywhere though.

We ate great food, drank great wine, and had important conversations about careers and societal issues and parenting and love and faith and more.

I feel like the theme of each of these four posts is uninterrupted.

Life, most days, is a series of constant interruptions. This time was uninterrupted. We didn’t have to pick a restaurant our kids would enjoy. We didn’t have to run interference for a fight (with kids or clients). No eating in a hurry at our desk.

Nope. It was leisurely. All planned out. We just showed up at each stop. Ate, drank, laughed and talked. In long unhurried segments of time.

I woke up in the morning and took my coffee and phone outside to a massive backyard overlooking a vineyard. I put my favorite praise music on the phone and sat. Took deep breaths. Ingested the beauty. Absorbed the peace.

We don’t do this. Especially we working mommas. We’re notoriously terrible at this. We’ll go years without sitting still. Even today, writing this post, I am MAKING myself sit at my computer while the kids are out on a Sunday afternoon. I have a ton of things to do but I really want to write. Love to write.

But there’s no time. To take deep breaths. To have deep thoughts.

Then we went out. To great dinners (highly recommend The Girl and The Fig). To great vineyards (highly recommend Repris for the experience and Merry Edwards for the pinot). We listened to 90s country and sang songs I didn’t even know I knew. I laughed so much. I don’t laugh nearly as much as I used to and I’m going to work on that.

This weekend was a gift. At a time that could not have been more perfect. Right before a major life change. Right before the frenzied holiday season, full of goodness but also chaos.

The women were a gift. Each of them was interesting, thoughtful, beautiful, funny, insightful, gracious, and really pretty fabulous. We just got together again this week to catch up and celebrate our shipment of wine by cracking some open.

I did nothing to deserve such a gorgeous, joy-filled weekend away, but I’m overwhelmingly, unspeakable grateful for its coming.