Gindi Vincent

The Dish on Career, Fashion, Faith, and Family

Women

Mama Drama: The Elephant on my Chest

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It’s been a while since a Mama Drama installment.  I have a thousand.  They’re the basis for my dream book I’d love to publish one of these days.

You may recall the last couple zany Mama Drama installments recounted the rollercoaster that hits when you work from home. 

So in today in Mama Drama, let’s talk about the seasons that just spin out of control. 

This season: WOW!

I was talking to one of my closest friends, a rockstar mom and career woman and wife and daughter and volunteer.  She has A LOT on her plate.  So I was venting to her about how right now just feels like SO MUCH, because she gets it.  She left two really wise and insightful voxes, a snippet of which said:

I understand the stress of having to work.  And being the one who takes care of the schedule and the doctor’s appointments and the…well, when you’re the Master Puppeteer of the House.  It’s a lot and when you add extra work stresses, sometimes it just feels TOO MUCH.  I’m telling you, I felt like I constantly had an elephant on my chest last year.  I was utterly overwhelmed. 

Ah yes.  I listened to the message again, more slowly.  An elephant on my chest.

Yep.

This year started off already busy with work, and then such sadness accompanied it with the loss my best friend suffered.  The sad came with a fog that slowed my reactions, but life and school and the house and work didn’t stop.  So all the things kept stacking on top. 

You step into that busy season and add a bunch of travel.  In one month, I have been to Minnesota, Louisiana (twice – one for a mommy-and-me trip that was planned nearly a year ago), and Washington D.C. (twice for work). Late night hours and seven day work weeks and a dog that will not quite eating my entire life around me and a few unexpected doctors’ visits that had to occur this month. 

Elephant.

Meet my chest. 

I believe this is going to be a year of big change.  I don’t know what it will hold, because I asked God not to let me see too far down the road a while back, and boy He’s been super good about that… (Sigh, exhales the Type A planner.)

If I’m going to be equipped to absorb the change and press into it, then I’m going to need to find a way to wrangle that elephant.

Not eradicate him.  That’s just silly.  But maybe relocate him slightly, off my chest.

So I’m being intentional. 

One: I stop working at dinner time.  Maybe that means I’m still working at 10 pm but it allows me to eat, usually, with my whole crew.  And then I read to the kids.  Little bit and I are reading an American Girl book and the boys and I have just started the SIXTH Harry Potter book (they only read that with me). 

Two: When they come to me with a story, I stop to listen, even though there’s a thousand things going on around me.  This morning, we really needed to get out the door.  But little bit wanted to tell me about her dream.  She got interrupted twice but she finished. 

Three: Sixty second snuggles.  This morning, I crawled into bed with each one to give them hugs and kisses to wake them up.  They rolled over smiling.  No screaming from the hallway, come on, get out of bed already.  Three minutes and a solid start to the day (but don’t let that fool you, one was still in tears when he couldn’t find his chapel sweater for school).

Four: Stopping.  This weekend, I could have worked all weekend.  But I didn’t.  I worked some.  But I asked my mom to watch the kids and I did a little shopping and got a pedicure.  Two hours of being totally unplugged. 

Five: Declining invitations.  I’m having to un-RSVP to a few things and say no to others.  Not everything.  I’m still doing some things that are important, but I’m saying no to otherwise good stuff that I just can’t make work in the next 30 days. 

And…hopefully…SIX: Writing.  I love to write.  It’s therapeutic.  I really want to make it a bigger priority in the next 90 days.  That sounds insane of course.  But it’s important to me. 

And I’ve agreed to participate in a spiritual formation retreat over the next year which I’ve long wanted to do.  This seems like the absolute worst time to do it which I think makes it the best time.  Two days, four times, over the next 12 months.  To sit.  Chill out with the Creator. Figure out what’s next.  Over and over again God has brought me to this scripture: He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me. (Psalm 18, 2 Sam 22)

Then He proceeds to bring me to a spacious place (Alaska, Yosemite, Hill Country…). 

I’m always better after that.

So I’m going to “retreat” in the truest form of the word.  I’ll write and pray and relocate that elephant.  In March, the five Vincents get to venture into another spacious place: Sedona and the Grand Canyon and Zion National Park.  In April, we get to slip away with my best friend’s family at one of my safest and most regular spacious places, the farm. 

And in this pressing season, this one that feels oh so overwhelming at times, I will stand on the promises which I know to be true and look forward to the hope that lays on the other side of the test:  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed… (2 Cor 4)

2020 – The Ellipsis

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Today, it is 2020.

As my brother in law said this morning, welcome to the roaring ’20s.

For me, this new decade didn’t come in roaring. It came in in a fog.

I’m in a fog.

I left on the 26th for Minnesota to spend a few days with my best friend, Kristin, and attend her son’s funeral, and returned on the 30th. A quick turn around of my carry on bag at the house, and then I left with my family for the farm. As is our New Year’s Eve tradition.

Two of Bray’s siblings and families were there, along with his parents, and the kids popped fireworks last night and laughed and ran and drank too much soda. I posted photos on social media, as I do, and my daughter and I even snapped a photo of us with me smiling.

It felt fake.

I didn’t smile much the rest of the time. Isaac wasn’t even my son but I have been heartbroken. I can’t focus or function for very long. I’m completely sleep deprived. Last week, I slept with the phone in my hand in case Kristin needed anything in the middle of the night. She never did, but somehow me not sleeping felt like I was helping. Then I never get any sleep at the farm, and little bit got sick, so I’m bleary in my fog.

I just didn’t have a bright and shiny New Year’s post to offer.

Last year I wrote about resolutions and hopes. And this year, I don’t know how I’m going to be able to work this week. I’ve left a part of myself in Minnesota and I just want to get back. (It’s actually a miracle I got out – thank you all for praying. I ran from the snow in Marshall and got out 6 hours in advance, and then my plane just beat the snow in Minneapolis by hours too.)

At the same time, I don’t want to let go of my kids. I kept hugging and kissing them once I got back until they finally pushed me off.

As I plowed through emails today, a GetAbstract book title caught my attention, You are Awesome, by Neil Pasricha. The book professes to help you through change and failure and be more intentional. So I started reading.

His first point is what struck me and finally enabled me to write something. Like I’ve meant to for weeks.

He writes to see changes with an ellipsis instead of a period. It moves your thinking from “finality” to “future” – the gap in the sentence marks a transition. He wrote about a woman who saw a change through the lens of an ellipsis instead of a period. Seeing changes as beginnings instead of endings helped her to press forward and remain stronger internally.

This ‘door opening’ perspective, according to the author and his research, gives you the ability to say “yet” at the end of your sentence.

So, I don’t have any catchy resolutions. I don’t have any grand bargains or promises, which I most certainly will fail to execute.

I have an ellipsis for this year. A ‘yet.’

I don’t understand God, yet. (That yet may never be fulfilled this side of heaven.)

I can’t focus on my work, yet. (I’ll get there. It will be far easier for me than for Isaac’s family.)

I don’t know what’s next, yet. (Maybe I won’t know until the next happens, and so I wait.)

This fog won’t lift, yet. (It will lift. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. – John 1)

As a Type A planner, this is the most unplanned I’ve ever been. Darn near unraveling.

But maybe it takes unraveling to pull together what God has planned instead of what I planned. The dictionary says unraveling means to undo twisted, knitted or woven threads. And Colossians 2 says:
I want you woven into a tapestry of love, in touch with everything there is to know of God. Then you will have minds confident and at rest, focused on Christ, God’s great mystery. (The Msg)

So I don’t know, yet, what to expect or want from 2020. Maybe simply to expect or want this unraveling to result in a new tapestry that is woven by the hand of God.

Rejoicing after weeping.
Clothes of joy after grief in sackcloth. (Psalm 30)

Peace through tribulation. (John 16)

Beauty from ashes.
Hope from despair.
Rebuilt and restored ruins after devastation.(Isaiah 61)

Friday Finds: Favorite Things

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Merry Christmas Friends! A week out and short of a just the perfect thing for one of your people? Well I got you!

Today, instead of Fashion Friday, we’re talking Friday Finds! That’s right, I crowd-sources some favorite things and BOY DID I HIT THE JACKPOT!

There is no possible way I can cover all the great items I got in my Facebook post, so head over to Facebook and check out the public post dated December 12th if you don’t see what you need here.

There is so much material, I’m going to test some of these out and come back to this Favorite Things post again!

But I’ll try to break some of the items up into categories and tackle them. My favorite comments were some of the intangible ‘favorite things’ – laughter, smell of cut grass, etc. Ah. That’s what’s really the best!

Also, I’ll add my own two cents if you’re looking for a favorite thing for a friend or family member: EXPERIENCES!

Last night, Bray and I took the kids to Holiday Lights at Constellation Field. Just the time together, looking at lights and roasting smores on the fire pit and decorating gingerbread houses, that was the best thing ever. I’m trying to do a family surprise date once a month. It won’t always happen, but last month we all went to see Ford v. Ferrari at a theater that served food and this month was Holiday Lights. Who knows what next month will bring!?!?!

Okay, here goes!

CATEGORY APPS:

  • Voxer – this is how I talk to my best friend every day, you don’t need to know anything other than to download it and get your friends to do it too;
  • Paprika 3 – apparently the best recipe collection app out there which enables you not to just collect your fav recipes but to categorize them by holidays etc;
  • Hopper – this will tell you the days that are cheapest to travel and if your fare is going to go up or down;
  • Down Dog Yoga – an easy download to add strength and stretching into your daily routine.

CATEGORY COSMETICS/HAIR:

  • Revlon one step hair dryer – This one got a TON of traffic with all sorts of people in all sorts of corners saying that this is life changing, it is in my Amazon basket friends (also the Dyson hair dryer got a shout out for frizzy hair);
  • Eye shadow primer – I was not familiar with this cosmetic tool but several friends swear by it, one says that Target’s ELF brand is all you need while another recommends Too Faced – the key being that your mascara won’t be all over your face anymore;
  • MAC Lipstick – this was a recommendation I can whole heartedly endorse, I love MAC lipsticks and our nominator says that their Russian Red looks fabulous on everyone;
  • Mary Kay eye make up remover – again, this is a product I use so when I saw it nominated I jumped right in – I have never found a better eye make up remover out there (you can see I basically dabble in almost every make up brand);
  • Stila eyeliner – several friends swear by this waterproof eyeliner;
  • Cle de peu concealer – Revolutionary according to my friend, and I’m sort of obsessed with concealers (I report after four hours of sleep last night), but IT Bye Bye Under Eye Concealer also got the favorite things nod and it is more affordable;
  • Invisibobble Traceless ponytail holder – keeps your ponytail from pressing a crease into your hair and won’t result in those awful ponytail headaches.

CATEGORY HOME GOODS:

  • Electric tea kettle – this was another top vote getter, lots of folks swear by these and have them for work and for home, one recommended was the Cuisinart kettle;
  • Gas fireplace – several nods for the benefit of curling up to a good book in front of a gas fireplace and I’m cozy just thinking about it;
  • Portable clothing steamer – a must for travelers to have in their carry on;
  • Sticker You – perfect personalized labels for kids young and old (and I’ve used Name Bubbles too);
  • Hobonichi Cousins Planners and Covers – I had paper planners for years, this year I went full electronic, but this friend’s hearty recommendation may make me return to having a paper version.

CATEGORY FOOD/DRINK:

  • Nutella stuffed chocolate chip cookies by ambitious kitchen – messy to make but worth it says my friend who adds this to her list;
  • Peanut butter fudge – easy and addictive, melt one tub of peanut butter and one tub of icing in the microwave, mix together and refrigerate;
  • Parmesan crisps – while this was someone else’s top pick, it’s also one of my go to snacks;
  • Lolea red sangria – comes in full and mini sizes at Cost Plus;
  • Apple cider mimosas – ‘nuff said;
  • Amici Cab – tastes like a $200 cab for closer to $40 (loved hearing this because I just grabbed their Pinot for a dinner party);
  • Frago mints – the beauty of chocolate and mint, this is the original.

CATEGORY FUNNIEST:

I don’t know why, but these cracked me up:

  • Whataburger ketchup – apparently no other ketchup comes close;
  • Earbags – do you imagine an earlobe holding a purse, well don’t, because apparently it is a headband-less set of ear muffs;
  • Pickle salsa – seriously y’all, these are little bit’s two favorite food groups, I’m totally trying this as a hysterical as it sounds!

Okay friends, you should be all set for the holidays now!

But don’t stop now! Sound off in the comments and give us YOUR favorite things!!! Food, hack, app, make up, travel destination, YOU PICK IT!

Fashion Friday: Super Skinny Saga

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There is an epidemic sweeping the U.S. You’ve seen it if you’ve ventured into a store or shopped on-line this year. It is SKINNY jeans. And if that’s not enough for you, then there’s SUPER SKINNY jeans.

Which brings us to today’s Fashion Friday. For those of us who sigh in collective horror, let’s tackle the Super Skinny Jean epidemic in fashion.

Why am I up in arms over this fashion? Well, first of all, both little bit and I have been jeans shopping this month. She’s a girl’s size 10 and I’m a ladies size 12. She is super skinny and I am super not.

So arguably, if the fashion was going to work for someone, it would work for one of us on either end of the size spectrum.

It does not.

She will tell you, she hates super skinny. Regular ole skinny isn’t much better.

Where will you find this trend? The better question is where won’t you. Thus far, the super skinny look is dominating the following stores which we regularly frequent: Gap, Old Navy, Banana Republic, Target, Abercrombie, Levi, Express, Nordstrom, Macy’s, J. Crew, Justice, and on and on. It doesn’t help if you go to a department store. I tried Seven for All Mankind, Joe’s, Lauren, etc., and they were all skinny fit. And, I might add, they are running SHORT which is a crime if you’re 5’10 and don’t want to look like you’re wading through a river! (Or worse than super skinny, the jegging. Y’all, this is a legging not a jean!)

Seriously.

(From top to bottom, Justice, J. Crew, Old Navy, and Joe’s from Dillard’s. This is just a VERY small sample size of the skinny epidemic! And note, they’re not just SKINNY but they are often also high-waisted and ankle length – these are all bad things if you just want a normal pair of jeans!)

So what is a girl to do if you don’t actually want jeans plastered to your thighs, be you skinny or curvy? My girlfriend and I were discussing this over breakfast and have come up with a few options for all of you suffering under the same skinny jeans oppression as the Vincent girls.

One of my favorite brands, hand’s down, is Kut from Cloth. I love their fit and their longevity. I’ve had my first pair for years and finally bought my second pair. They’re a little pricey for me, they run close to $100, but in the normal sized jeans desert, I splurged. These are their Natalie bootcut jeans, but they have tons of styles and they run $89 at Nordstrom. (I also tried Lucky, similar cut, and I liked them but the color was too bright – I like my denim darker.)

J. Crew is not ALL skinny. They have straight, wide leg, curvy, boyfriend… My friend swears by boyfriend for her figure, but they don’t fit me right and I don’t care for how most of them are cuffed. Here is the straight trouser and their curvy boot cut. Normally these run over $100, but they’re on sale for 35% off.

If you’re looking for a bargain, then I’d typically send you to Old Navy. However, I have found they are the worst offender of the super skinny. Some of my fav jeans are their curvy style. Well they are out of that style for now, but I just found a gorgeous straight-legged style which I’m wearing today and they’re soft, stylish, and a bargain at HALF PRICE for $18. Can you believe it? (Plus we should all buy from Old Navy because they give you the option of seeing the jeans on a size 4 model or a size 10 model – this is the size 10 model, thank you so much Old Navy!)

There are others. You have to hunt. I tried on OVER 20 pairs of jeans just to find two pair that worked. Little bit is STILL on the hunt because the epidemic is even worse for girls (plus she is super freakish about fabrics – send help!). Sigh. Between skin tight jeans and micro-mini shorts and skirts, I am disgusted with girls fashion right now. But you already know that.

What say you? Do you love the super skinny? Don’t worry, I’ll still be your friend if you do 🙂

Fashion Friday: Hear It Roar, Animal Prints

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I have been in malls too much lately. It’s a whole other post. About how I’m incapable of dressing in cute casual. I always need help. Maybe you’ll get that post next week.

So… that led me to observe a TON of fall trends. But there is one far more obvious than any other.

As a result, today’s Fashion Friday: Hear It Roar, Animal Prints. Mercy me. Animal prints are everywhere. There are cheetahs and snakes and zebras and leopards. Oh my. But let me tell you, it is lovely. And I’m digging it all.

Where do you put these animal prints, you ask? Well, apparently this season, you wear it everywhere. Literally you can wear it head to toe (though I don’t recommend it).

One thing that’s new in all over animal print is DRESSES.  They are EVERYWHERE.   I saw one at work last week, which was gorgeous, and then boom, they were in every store window.  This one from Loft, at 40% off today, is less than $50 – that is crazy!  Banana Republic has animal print dresses in all sorts of prints and styles but my fav right now is this zebra midi dress.  There are a TON of animal print midi dresses, BTW.  Just search for them on Nordstrom’s website.  Here’s one that comes in under $150 from Eliza J but they come in every cut and print imaginable. 

Of course, I think it’s usually easier to pull off a print this bold in pieces.  And mercy are there pieces.  Try infusing your fall wardrobe with a little animal print in any of the lovely sweaters and blouses on the market right now.  Including this really interesting pin tuck cheetah print from Banana, a nice casual long sleeved tee from Nordstrom, and this super cute blouse from Target (love how it’s styled too!)

My all time favorite spot to throw an animal print on is a shoe.  And everyone has an animal print shoe this season.  I have a snake skin one now and a new block leopard print (remember, blocks are back). 

Here is a Snake Print ankle boot and cheetah pump from Banana Republic.  But DSW has plenty if you want to stay on budget.  Even Loft had a fun flat.  These Sam Edelman kitten heel boots will add a splash of interest to any fall outfit and they don’t break the bank at $80.   Now Target had this style of sandal, but I don’t know if it’s still in stock; it’s more expensive in Steve Madden from DSW but I bet you can find this style in lots of spots.  These are the block pumps I picked up a couple weeks ago and I love them.  Super comfortable and versatile.

It’s not just tops and dresses and shoes.  Animal print is on everything.  Check out this leopard reversible poncho from Loft and calf hair belt. I’m loving Loft this fall.  Heck, Banana has prints on everything from belts to bras – I can’t even show you everything they have in their animal print game.  Target’s not going to miss out on the party. You could add their animal print tote to your fall wardrobe.

What say you? How do you do animal prints? What’s your favorite?