Gindi Vincent

The Dish on Career, Fashion, Faith, and Family

Fashion Friday: The Do’s and Don’ts of Headshots

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This week at work some colleagues and I were planning a panel discussion for a women’s event.  The focus was on enhancing your social media profiles (LinkedIn, etc.) to obtain career results.  Maybe you want to develop more expertise in an area or you’re looking for speaking engagements or you need to build your external network.  There are ways improve your opportunities with social media. 

Over the course of the conversation, one subtopic that really sparked discussion was how to get the right headshot.  Oftentimes, when you’re not actually seeking a job, you forget about your career profile, and then suddenly you’re asked to speak or write and are scurrying to get a professional picture taken.

For today’s Fashion Friday, let’s discuss the do’s and don’ts of headshots. 

Just this week, I received a newsletter from a large women’s organization of which I’m a member.  It advertised a couple of upcoming events and the featured speakers.  There were three different women’s headshots featured for the events and I was surprised by the wide disparity between them.  One woman took what appeared to be a selfie on her sofa.  Another one used a grainy image standing against a beige wall in rumpled clothing.  The final shot was of a women smiling confidently at the camera in a dark blazer with simple jewelry in high resolution. 

People make first impressions off of, well, their FIRST impression.  It’s human nature.  They make assumptions based on what they first see. 

When we are speaking or joining a board or looking for a job, it is utterly within our control to make a strong first impression.

This is not about vanity.  It is not about a beauty pageant.  It’s about executive presence.  Polish.  Confidence. 

So I went through hundreds of headshots of my connections on LinkedIn and jotted down a few takeaways. 

Here Are Some Do’s:

  1.  Smile.  Smiles welcome people and exude warmth. I loved staring down at a little picture which smiled back at me. I hate my teeth, always have, but a smiling picture of me is still far better than one where I look apathetic or glum.
  2. Stick with the classics.  Donning a blazer polishes a photo.  For some jobs it would look utterly out of place, but even those career women with winning headshots had simple bold blouses that looked polished.  Simple jewelry.  Gold or silver or pearls – earrings and (or) necklaces. 
  3. Use your head.  This may not be true if you have a website where you can take up more photo real estate, but in spots like LinkedIn and conference publications where you’re speaking, there is very little space for your photo. Make it an actual “head” shot. 
  4. High resolution.  In an era when everything is shared and copied and snapshotted and emailed, use a high resolution image.  A good picture looks less professional if it’s grainy or off-color as a result of an old or low res base photo. 

I ran across a truckload of beautiful head shots, but these were some of my favorites (just screenshots from LinkedIn).  You can see some went with traditional backdrops and others used outdoors. As long as the background isn’t overbright or distracting, you have flexibility with the venue (and formality) you’re most comfortable in.  

(And I will tell you, these woman also look incredibly polished every time I see them in person too.  So they carry their executive presence with them well beyond a headshot.)

Here are the Don’ts:

  1.  Selfies.  Do not take a selfie.  I don’t know what else to say. 
  2. Look like someone else.  This is not the time to get a glamour shot that makes you unrecognizable. Yes, fix your hair and make up but not in a way that doesn’t look like you on a day-to-day basis.
  3. Use it to attract a romantic relationship.  There is nothing that will undercut people taking you seriously more quickly than thinking your career headshot can double as your Tinder photo.  Don’t wear tight or low cut clothing, heavy make up, or pose suggestively.  Women are judged particularly harshly on this but women can be the primary offenders.
  4. Have others in your picture.  This is not the time to show off your spouse or children.  And it doesn’t help if you half cut them out so that it’s primarily you but you see someone’s arm in the photo. 
  5. Go bright or dark.  Some of the photos I saw, while otherwise professional, were either on very bright white backdrops or in bright sunlight such that it blinded the photo, or they were black and white or very darkly lit so it was difficult to see the person clearly.  Remember lighting when you decide what headshot to use. 

Go look at your LinkedIn profile or Twitter account or website – whatever you use for your business.  Ask a friend or colleague (or two or three) to give you honest feedback on your headshot. 

Does it need to be updated? 

Does it need to be more professional? 

Consider investing in a photographer to really give you a couple of great images you can use for all career purposes.  It will pay dividends.

It’s Not All Magic In That Lamp

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Last night, we went to see Aladdin, the Broadway musical, which was touring in Houston.  I don’t do these kinds of evenings out very often because it’s pricey to do dinner and a show with five people.  But the kids loved both movie versions of Aladdin, so I splurged on this one family night out. 

We waited in the obligatory show backdrop line to have a snapshot taken of our family, moderately cleaned up for the event, and then I posted it on Facebook. 

Afterwards, I couldn’t stop thinking about a conversation with two my dearest friends this week. 

We were talking about pride and how our pride trips us up.  Well, two of us were discussing how that’s one of our big challenges.  The other one, who from all I’ve seen doesn’t have a lick of pridefulness in her, wondered if her Facebook postings seemed prideful to those seeing them.  She uses Facebook primarily as her memory book, so she just posts when she does fun stuff with her kids so she’ll have those precious memories documented for years to come.  The past couple of years she has had a brutal series of trials, but she doesn’t share those on social media.  Only those closest to her have seen the trials.  I guess if folks were looking in from Facebook, they’d think ‘look at my awesome life’, she remarked ruefully. 

Because of my blog, most folks are aware my life is a roller-coaster of events, good and bad.  But I kept thinking about that comment as our smiling faces peered back at me from the screen. 

So let me tell you friends, it’s not all magic in that lamp. 

To begin with, no one in my family likes to get dressed up but me.  Well, little bit will tolerate it, but absolutely not the boys.  So just getting ready was a headache.  Little bit and I fight about what she wears out because she’s slim and tall, which is of course a lovely life problem, but I CANNOT (for the millionth time) find anything long enough to cover her legs.  Her dress was far too short but I got overruled by dad and she wore it out.  Yes it’s not really a problem at 9, but if we don’t set hemline guidelines now, I’m never going to win the argument at 15 when it is a problem. 

Then the boys, well one in particular, hemmed and hawed about putting on a shirt with a collar.  Just forget button downs, I’m trying to get a polo on them. The eldest paired his polo with a long sleeved t-shirt, jeans, and very muddy ranch boots.  The baby did better but still he was in shorts and tennis shoes. 

We had to get the puppy put in his crate.  He is an utter disaster right now y’all.  I can’t even start.  He ate a hole in our laundry room wall yesterday.  And pooped in Bray’s office. Ugh.

Driving downtown in rush hour is no piece of cake, and I drove because otherwise I have so many opinions about short cuts to take through traffic it does a number on our marriage. 

I’d planned a nice dinner at the Aquarium so we could park and walk the three blocks to the Hobby Center.  Dinner was nice, we had a good view of the giant aquarium and my kids love fish, but I’m a schedule monitor.  I should either do dinner or a show but not dinner and a show because I’m constantly watching the clock.  I put the kibosh on dessert because I wanted to have plenty of time to find our seats.  Of course, in addition to the groans I got, then we arrived before the doors even opened.  Seriously. 

Then we end up in this giant debate about their 10th birthday party.  We’ve started planning it because it’s only a couple months away (good grief, time flies) and it’s the big 10!  But the kids would like to have it at the minor league baseball game here in town which is cost prohibitive if you invite the entire grade and their families.  (We attend a small school and their grade is about 28 kids, half girls and half boys.)  So we talked about inviting a handful of friends with their parents but little bit said she would not have a party without including everyone.  (This I love, because I’ve harped on this for years now, but I also live in a world with a budget.)

After that raging debate, little bit got a blister in her shoe from walking and the eldest kept commenting how self-conscious he felt in his wardrobe choice now that he was at the theater.  And he didn’t feel great because he’s been in the hot sun at baseball camp and is a little worse for wear in this 100 degree heat. 

When we sat down in our seats, I looked at Bray and said, this always seems like a good idea when I plan it, but…  He raised his eyebrows and retorted, you always say this. 

So why do I do it? 

Well, the kids LOVED the show.  It started slow but by the end of the first act with the big crescendo of the genie in the cave of wonders, we were all laughing and clapping and captivated.  We waited in the long bathroom lines at intermission and paid way too much for gummie bears but the kids were talking over each other at each of their favorite parts.  How the genie was just the best genie ever, even funnier than the movie one. 

And we worked on manners at dinner.  Truth be told, we rarely eat out.  Even then, it’s usually Mexican food.  So it’s important to teach how to lay your napkin in your lap and use the different forks and wait until appetizer plates come before sticking your grubby hands in the plate of calamari.  We had charming dinner conversation, aside from the party, about the fish in the tank and talked about all going offshore fishing later this summer. 

Even walking past the homeless prompted conversations which needed to be had and demanded we focus more on helping those in our community who have needs beyond any my kids could ever comprehend. 

So I will keep doing it.  And it will be messy.  And loud, lord is it loud.  But they’re about to be 10.  As they grow up, I hope they’ll remember the fun shows more than their mother fussing at them to change their shirt or get in the car. 

And Stanley, the puppy.  Well he had no interest in going to sleep when we got home at 10:30 since he’d been alone for over 5 hours.  Yawn, I’m tired.  Grateful and tired.

Summer and Growing Community

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It’s been a really happy place around here lately.

Lots of laughter and fun. 

Baseball and swim team are over – can we all say hallelujah?!?!

The kids and I are checking some things off of our “things to do this summer” bucket list!  This past weekend we played laser tag, went bowling, and saw a minor league baseball game.

Also, we got a puppy. 

Yep, you read that right, a puppy. 

A little over a week ago. 

His name is Stanley.  He’s a mutt.  A cattle dog/shepherd mutt.  The kids adore him and he adores them.  He’s got a little cough which has worried me, because I need another little one to worry over, but his whole body wags when he sees you come in and he’ll smother you with kisses.

Then there has been precious community building on all sides.

I felt keenly aware of how deep our community is in this season. 

I sat watching the throngs of families at our swim meet finals and soaked it in.  Our neighborhood is pretty divided between the assorted private schools on the west side of Houston so the kids don’t get to go to school with our sweet neighborhood friends.  But during swim team, we’re all together. 

The kids have been swimming together since they were five and run in a pack in between their races, playing games and taking their dollar bills to the concession stand.  We’re surrounded by the other neighborhoods doing the same thing. 

Grown-ups vacillate between volunteer work and catching up with their neighbors. 

It’s this wonderful shared experience of parents sharing sunscreen and coolers and pop up tents. 

{I can just hear Mr. Rogers singing, won’t you be my neighbor?}

Then a group of families from our school gathered for the local pool swim up movie showing last Friday.  The kids are finally at an age where constant supervision is not required, hoorah, so they scurry off to perform diving board tricks while the parents all cram in our summer stories over snacks and drinks in the patio chairs near the mayhem. 

At a church leadership meeting this week, we pressed into the topic of community and how it’s these connections which restore us from this frenzied pace. 

I was just rereading some of my old neighbors’ table posts and remembered how isolated we used to be: We have to clear out some of the clutter and make time for community.  I find myself utterly grateful for this rich community network that has sprung up.

We head to the farm tomorrow to fish and read and slow down and pop fireworks, all part of summer master plan.  Slow down. Peace out.

I’ve also had downtime to plan fun things ahead too, because I AM a planner. 

Little bit and I take our mommy-and-me trip at the end of the month.  We got all the details outlined over our lovely souffles at Rise this week while the boys were out.

Then I have the big DECADE birthday party to plan for the trio in the fall – I’m might slightly be in overboard mode, but I was just telling you how big our community has become.  And after the eldest’s mommy-and-me trip in January (to see the national college football championship game), we hope to have spring break vacation in Arizona and Utah to look forward to!

I love travel and it gives me great joy to know we have travel planned in the months ahead. 

Until then, it’s hanging with our friends and family and taking on the pace and peace summer offers. 

Fashion Friday: The T-Shirt

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The lowly t-shirt.

It doesn’t get much press.

Yet you probably have a drawer full of them.  Old and new.  Solid and graphic.  Purchased and given. 

The lowly t-shirt has the potential to become the lovely t-shirt. 

For today’s Fashion Friday, I’m exploring the challenge of finding the perfect t-shirt. 

If you are not from Houston, then you may not be able to fathom our weather right now.  It still hasn’t hit 100 ACTUAL degrees but we have multiple days already with “feels like” numbers up to 110 degrees.  Why?  Because we live in a flippin’ sauna.  We basically are enduring 100 percent humidity on 95 degree days which means if you have any amount of hair on your head you look like a chia pet. 

I most definitely look like a chia pet. 

I digress. 

The other reality of living in a sauna is that Houstonians attempt to dress as cool as possible when they’re not going to work.  Not cool as in “you’re a cool cat,” but cool as in “I hope my outfit doesn’t raise my temperature to such a level that I pass out walking into the grocery store.” 

Enter the lowly t-shirt. 

I took a hard look at my weekend baseball/swim team mom style.  It wasn’t pretty.  And it wasn’t actually style.  It was either a pair of shorts or Athleta ‘moisture wicking’ skort with a t-shirt.  An old tired t-shirt. 

Yet, I realize the t-shirt has the potential to look fantastic. 

Take a gander at this:

I do not look like this in a t-shirt. 

So I went on a hunt.  I researched articles and did some on-line shopping.  I spent a ton of money on t-shirts JUST to test them out – all but two have now been returned.  From the $100 t-shirt (which was going back whether I liked it or not) to the $10, I tried an assorted variety. 

Here’s my review:

The big Kahuna in several fashion reviews was a t-shirt brand called Rag & Bone.  I had to check it out regardless of its $90 price tag (and they had ones that were even more).  I was unimpressed.  The t-shirt was fine but absolutely nothing to write home about.  The material was thinner than I like and it looked like a men’s undershirt. 

Nordstrom’s brand, Halogen, was fine.  Soft.  Simple crew.  But I didn’t like their scoop neck, there’s a wide variety of kinds of scoops, and I also didn’t care for how the sleeves fell on me.  I also tried a Loveappella one, not pictured, but didn’t keep it because it fit like a box in the worst way. 

Several friends recommended Madewell.  They are still in the hunt for me.  I liked how their shirt hem was designed to wear untucked and the material wasn’t too thin (though with some of their t-shirts the material is super thin so be careful).  Plus they are reasonably priced. However, the sleeves fell longer than I like in a t-shirt, and these particular stripes weren’t for me. It might have made it on to the keeper list if it had been a solid color. 

I absolutely adored the designs of Ted Baker’s t-shirts, and it wasn’t a icky material like I worried it might be from the website.  However, is is VERY fitted.  If you are carrying any weight you don’t want folks to see (like I am), then this shirt is not for you.  So sad because this is only one of several clever designs.  If you are slim in the torso, I definitely recommend. 

My clear favorite was a brand I hadn’t heard of before, Allsaints. I do not typically wear horizontal stripes, no need to widen anything there, but I fell in love.  Granted this t-shirt had some fun little ruffles on the side of the sleeves which probably put it even further in front of the pack, but the material was light but not thin and it fell straight down instead of clinging to my extra bits.  I won’t shop for it again until it’s on sale because even though I want a couple of go-to tees, they shouldn’t cost more than $50!

A surprise find was a Joe’s t-shirt I got on sale at Nordstrom’s for $20.  This is exactly what I was looking for.  A plain gray t-shirt.  No adornments.  Simple. And not worn out.  Half of my tees are just too worn to keep wearing.  I did make myself do a drawer purge before these all arrived.  But for a morning at the pool, this little gray number and a pair of flip flops is all I need. 

Finally, I tried three bargain tees.  One from Old Navy.  One from Target.  And one from Loft.  The problem with most cheap tees (heck with the pricey ones too) is that they are all super thin.  That means you have to wear a cami/tank underneath.  In a city where you are trying to get away with wearing as few as clothes as possible in the summer, this is not ideal. 

My favorite from Old Navy is the ruffled linen-blend one shoulder.  It hangs loose and is thick enough to wear without an under-layer.  Granted, it’s not your traditional tee because it’s an off the shoulder one, but who says you can’t play with tees in the summer? And upon review, they have this material in other designs – definitely recommend ($15).  I wear my tee from Target, Universal Thread, but just around the house ($10).  It is thin, though I love how it hangs, but it pills quickly.  Finally, I love this vintage soft tank from Loft but DO NOT dry it ($15).  It shrinks up quickly and now I’m a little hesitant about wearing it out. 

So help a community out – what is your FAVORITE tee?  Why?  How long will it last you?  Share your thoughts on finding a tee and looking polished.

You Got This!

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You got this!!!

You hear it shouted from the bleachers at kids games.

The words waft out of car windows during school drop off.

They echo as you walk through a roller rink, try outs, or gymnastics meet.

I hadn’t really paid that much attention to the words until recently. 

Not only have they become ubiquitous (much like I know, right?, to my chagrin), they also become the topic of conversation in my kitchen.

My husband, who doesn’t regularly offer his philosophical ponderings, lit into this phrase.  

Fresh off one of the kids games, he heard you got this over a dozen times. 

What if they don’t ‘got this,’ he asked me. 

And thus launched a vigorous discussion on modern parenting philosophies.

He and I will be the first to admit we get the parenting gig wrong all the time.  We try hard and sometimes it works and sometimes it does not. 

But on this point we see completely eye to eye, at times to our children’s dismay. 

While it is critically important to speak words of affirmation into your child’s life (and everyone’s for that matter), if affirmation is all they hear then they will never have a realistic perspective of their strengthens and weaknesses. 

They don’t always ‘got this.’

If they don’t study hard for the test, then they don’t ‘got this.’

When they fail to practice every day for their recital, then a peppy ‘you got this’ will not spare them embarrassment on stage.

If they don’t have a talent for singing, running, juggling (insert whatever “thing” here), then blindly encouraging them with a ‘you got this’ won’t help one bit. 

We’re coming off of baseball/softball season.  We absolutely congratulate the kids for hard fought victories and fantastic plays, but we also discuss areas for improvement around the table.  You’ve got to call the ball before trying to catch it.  You need to practice your pitching more and warm up before the game.  Don’t let the pressure of the last inning mess with your head. 

One of our kids in particular says, Why can’t you just be more like so-and-so’s parent?  (You know, the one who only says good things regardless of the effort put in or results achieved…)

I’m a words girl and an optimist, so I’m a huge believer in speaking life-giving messages into your kids.  But you can do that while also providing constructive criticism that makes them stronger and better and more committed to improvement. 

This is just tackling this sentiment on the parenting front. 

If you evaluate this on any deeper level, then you realize it’s also fundamentally theologically wrong. 

We, that is humans, don’t ‘got this.’

We muck it up all the time!

And we’ve mucked it up all the time since the beginning of time.

Wars and lies and greed and addiction and envy and arrogance and infidelity and hypocrisy and depravity.

You have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself because you do the same things. (Romans 2)

There is no one who does good, not even one. (Psalm 14)

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3)

The good news, on the parenting front as well as the theological one, is that God’s got this.

We got nothin’.

But God’s got everything.

You are the God in Heaven. You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. Power and might are in your hand and no one can withstand against you. (2 Chron. 20)

He is before all things and in him all things hold together. (Col. 2)

So my kids won’t hear their parents yelling you’ve got this from the stands. We’ll encourage them. And also challenge them when they aren’t putting in the effort. But hopefully most we’ll remind them that we put in the work and do our best, but God’s the one who’s ‘got this.’