She smiled warmly as soon as we were introduced. Produced her hand for a firm handshake. Asked a funny but interesting question looking as if she was genuinely interested in the result.
She seem hurried and distracted. Her eyes kept darting around the room as if she was curious if there was someone more important to meet. She asked me to repeat my question seeming flustered by the conversation.
Have you been in a conversation with either of these two women?
Have you been the woman depicted in either of these conversations?
With so much of our conversation happening via email or teleconferences in our career life, it becomes even more critical to make the most of your unspoken language when you have the opportunity to lead up close and personal.
Body language. It can propel you to leadership and success or be a nail in the coffin.
Here are a few practical tips to communicating well using no words at all:
1. Make eye contact. Is this the most overused tip in the world? Well, it’s repeated because it is KEY! So much of being a leader comes with being comfortable in your own skin. The more confident and more authentic you are, the easier it is to look someone straight in the eye when having a conversation. There are still people in leadership positions that regularly struggle with this – their eyes either dart around the room because they are not comfortable holding someone’s gaze or they dart around the room because they are looking for something or someone more important or interesting. Either reason undermines your ability to lead.
2. Lean in. This isn’t just a tag line for Sheryl Sandberg’s career advice, it’s Body Language 101. {===>Click to Tweet} Leaning back, crossing your arms across your chest, turning your body away from the speaker exhibits, at the least, disinterest, or at the most, outright hostility. If you are sitting in a conversation, lean up and in. At a table, you can lean over it. If you’re standing, then face the person with whom you are conversing and don’t look like you’re ready to step out at any moment.
3. Engage. Look interested. Nod your head to show you’re listening. Smile. Look receptive. Raise your eyebrows in surprise if the story warrants it. Let the speaker know they have an engaged and interested audience.
4. Pay Attention. This comes down to the simplest of tips: put your phone down! {===>Click to Tweet} Do not check emails or the weather or your text messages when someone is talking to you. I see it so frequently now, and it is terrible form and shows disrespect.
So many of us excel at this in our every day conversations, but it doesn’t hurt to take a moment and check. The next few times you’re having critical conversations, pay attention to what your non-verbal cues reflect. Also pay close attention to the person(s) to whom you are speaking as it can give you great insight into whether they understand and are receptive to you. A leader hones her intuition and body language provides some of the best clues.