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Gindi Vincent

The Dish on Career, Fashion, Faith, and Family

leadership

Essential Relationships

February 1, 2017 by Gindi Leave a Comment

All the elements of savvy leadership are founded on, and supported by, essential relationships.

I’ve seen at least five categories of relationships emerging and successful leaders have:

  1.  The sponsors.  All the leadership research shows leaders cannot truly move forward without sponsors.  A sponsor may not know about your kids and your weekend activities, and in fact they probably shouldn’t, but they’re willing to spend political capital to advance your career.  Sponsors are savvy.  They won’t risk their reputation unless your worth it.  So for sponsors to recommend you for the promotion  or project, they need to know you will over deliver and impress the executives and the clients.  Sponsors don’t come overnight.  You’ve proven yourself over time when these essential relationships truly grow.
  2. The mentors.  While sponsors may help you climb the ladder, mentors help you figure out what ladder, or jungle gym, or race track you need to be on.  Mentors do know about your personal life and your priorities and life goals.  Mentors see past immediate opportunities. They help you remember to look from 10,000 feet up to see if you’re still headed in a direction which matches your dreams and values.  Mentors are never a one way relationship.  In fact NO relationship should be.  You should offer to support and help mentors, and sponsors, and advance their goals and achievements in any way possible.  All successful relationships are founded on mutual admiration and support.
  3. The peer network.  The individuals may be in similar career stages in similar industries.  These aren’t your best friends but people you enjoy hanging out with and who are in similar life stages.  I have friends who are in house attorneys at energy companies with families.  When we meet up, the insight we can offer one another is tremendous. We truly understand the place the other is in and the competing demands we have for our limited time.
  4. The diverse friends.  These are good friends who you can trust.  They come from different backgrounds, different socio-economic experiences, different phases of your life, and do different things in different geographic regions.  They help remind you your perspective isn’t everyone’s perspective.  From the small things to the big things, they remind you of the world at large. They also help you to laugh and step away from the career conversations.  From faith to fashion to family (just like my little blog randomness), these folks feed the important parts of your spirit and mind.
  5. The mentees.  That’s what I’ll call those you give back to.  No matter whether you are a CEO of a company or a first year career hire, there are those who need your support.  From school aged to soon-to-be college grads to muddled mid-year career folks, there is always someone who would love your perspective and encouragement.  Just as I believe you’re never to old to be mentored, I also believe you’re never to young to mentor others.  Find someone to encourage along the way this week!

Delighted to be sharing about relationships with the women of LEAD Academy this week, so I’d love to hear what you have to say.  How did you find key career relationships?  What do your friends do to help you keep your priorities in line?  Who else should you have in your life?

Filed Under: Leadership Tagged With: leadership, relationships

I’ll Ride Up

October 27, 2016 by Gindi 1 Comment

I saw him walk into the lobby of our building. So must have my male colleague.  I smiled and approached the elevator at the same time.  So did my male colleague.  Nearing the executive, my colleague began discussing a small work related matter with him.  I waited to offer greetings until their conversation concluded.  My colleague and I office on one floor while the executive offices on a higher floor.  When the doors opened at our floor, I got ready to step out when I heard my colleague say, “I’ll ride up with you,” and he continued talking.

Later in the day, I had an issue I wanted to make sure I talked to a specific person in management about. He arrived to the office after meetings and was approaching my desk from the hallway.  Steps away, another male colleague approached him and began a discussion.  After it wrapped, the individual got ready to walk past my desk to his office. But my male colleague said, “Well, if you have another 30 seconds, let me pick your brain about this,” and continued walking with him into his office.

I consider myself pretty adept at office networking. I’m not shy about having conversations about work matters or professional development with executives.  And, finally, I’m comfortable in my own skin and a skilled presenter on difficult issues in both formal and informal settings.

But this day at the office schooled me.

I have never once, in an 18 year career, said “I’ll ride up” to an executive on an elevator.

Why not?  It’s an incredibly smart thing to do.  You don’t inconvenience the other person and are able to address the issue with the decision maker.

I rarely take extra time, after small talk, to walk to the office with an executive to pursue a business agenda.

I try to find time on calendars or schedule meetings.  I’ll make small talk at the coffee bar, but I am not regularly taking the opportunity to advance the business ball.

How do most effective leaders get what they want?  All the research shows they have meetings before the meetings.  The key to sustained success is previewing the issues and the solutions before ever walking into a meeting room.

And while the more I research and travel around the country speaking about leadership I find gender similarities, this is an area where gender differences persist.  Regularly, many issues previously discussed as male or female, I find turn more on introvert v. extrovert or calm v. excitable or visionary v. detail oriented.

But actively “business working” in social encounters can be an area where women professionals lag.

Think back on how you work business issues.  When’s the last time you went out of your way to “ride up” with someone to pursue a business case?  Do you walk to the office drink station simply to make sure you engage with a hard-to-reach leader?

I recently had a friend who said, “let’s walk around the table this way so we can bump into that vice president.”  If you have critical matters you are working, or need to increase your visibility, then what better way than grabbing three impromptu minutes walking to the parking garage or the salad bar?

Engage the right people without formal meetings and have brief questions ready for their feedback.  Does this make sense?  Does this align with the team’s priorities this year? Etc.

Being ready to engage at a moment’s notice will send your professional stock soaring, and give you the opportunity to more regularly engage with important audiences.

Next time, offer to “ride up.”

Filed Under: Leadership Tagged With: leadership

Small Changes, Smart Questions

April 5, 2016 by Gindi Leave a Comment

Small changes can have a big impact.

We know this is true with eating, working, exercising, praying, whatever the area of improvement.

It’s also true with conversation.

I recently read part of a book called The Coaching Habit. It’s primarily focused on helping managers and bosses invest in, and improve, their team members through effective coaching.

But the questions the book suggests for short, immediate, focused improvement are very insightful as well as useful regardless with whom you use them.

The starting question the book recommends is: What’s on your mind?

Now, if you’re married to my husband, you might not get much of an answer (he’s not a fan of “penny for your thoughts” type questions). But with a lot of people, it will give you a window into where to start the conversation.  You can find out whether they’re focused on a particular project at work, whether they’re concerned about a relationship, or whether there is something in their own behavior that has them concerned.

If you’re like me, sometimes I use those starting off questions, but then immediately offer advice or suggestions.

What if, instead, you continued to press with further questions?

The author recommends following this broad question up with: And what else?

Don’t you love that? Instead of offering up your perspective, you show you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say and you probe deeper into possible issues or areas underlying the “top of mind” concern.

There were several other questions suggested to help focus and tailor the conversation to coach an employee into a productive resolution, but I had two favorites.

How can I help?

This is the far superior alternative to “what do you want from me?” The latter comes off aggressive and as if they are imposing, but by asking how you can help, you show you are genuinely invested in the outcome and want them to succeed.

If you are saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?

This is another of my favorites (for me and others) – in line with some of the books I’ve written about like The Best Yes and Breaking Busy.

This simple question can help your friend/colleague/family/employee know what’s on the line by saying yes to something, or no. Think of the success or opportunity you might miss with a no.  Or a commitment or project which could flounder if you said yes.

Now play this out in real life. With your husband.  With your friend debating a professional change.  With your kids after school.  With your staff.

What’s on your mind?

And what else?

What’s the real challenge?

How can I help?

Small changes can have a big impact. When you talk less and ask more, you get to the heart of what’s on someone’s mind, you make sure they feel heard, and you’re better positioned to offer helpful advice when you know more about what’s truly going on.

Filed Under: Leadership Tagged With: leadership, questions

Give Them Something to Run To

November 3, 2015 by Gindi Leave a Comment

run1

She’d wanted the role for her entire career.  She fought worthy competitors to finally lay hold of the prize.  Then she stormed into the place dead set on revolutionizing the world and doing more than any predecessor had before.

She’s a television character of a long running show, but her expectations and reactions rang true to me.  Not only have I hard charged into a leadership role before, but I’ve seen others do it too.

I was watching this fictional leader try to make all the improvements she had envisioned for years, and do so in a matter of 24 hours, and alienate all those who needed to follow her.

When it failed miserably, as radical, instantaneous, change from a new leader almost always does, her mentor spoke these wise words:

You want someone to run a four minute mile, you don’t chase them.
You don’t give them something to run from, you give them something to run to.

Effective leaders do change things.  It’s why excellent leadership is rare: it mandates change.  Change regularly meets with resistance and change is hard.  But instead of chasing people with threats or fear or loud orders, great leaders lay out a clear vision.  Communicate a message which inspires people to move with you, instead of from you.

What happens after the change? 

What will be better? 

Why will the company or team function more effectively? 

How will others be better off? 

Lay out the vision inspiring you to do the hard things and make the hard choices.  Be patient.  Recognize it takes time to turn a ship.  Inspire those around you to keep moving because the vision on the other side of the change is worth the work.

 

Photo via fitsugar.com

Filed Under: Leadership Tagged With: leadership, vision

Face Time

October 27, 2015 by Gindi Leave a Comment

facetime

I recently stayed up late at a girlfriend’s house while visiting her town for a speech.  We curled up on her oversized sofa with a glass of wine and laughed and reminisced and swapped harried working momma stories.

As the topic turned to work and opportunity and advancement, she began to share a story about an up-and-coming woman she knew.  What surprised her the most was the woman’s failure to take advantage of key networking opportunities.  She didn’t attend important company events.  When she was given an invitation to attend a client dinner with partners, the only junior member to be invited, she accepted the invitation but then called in “sick” two hours beforehand.  When my friend relayed what happened when asked by one of the partners, the partner said, “yeah right she was sick, she got a better invitation this weekend.”

What on earth?

This is terrible!

Yet it is becoming more and more prevalent.

All of us Gen-Xers learned as we moved up the career ladder to seize every opportunity to network with external clients or executives within our organization when given the chance (or find a way to seize the chance).  Building those relationships during non-office hours are critical.  Whether it’s volunteering with a non-profit, attending a gala for a key person’s favorite group, or attending a small group cocktail hour, there is no substitute for face time.

I asked my friend, “How’s her work?  Is she any good?”  In response, my friend said, “Actually, her work product is very good.  She may take a little too long getting it done, but she’s smart.  It’s just that…”

What was hanging at the end of the sentence?  Her and her partners concern the junior woman can’t be relied upon, can’t develop business, and can’t properly attend to their client network needs.  She had already, early in her career, developed a reputation she wouldn’t put in the time to build out of office relationships.

“Maybe when they are all the bosses, this won’t be important.  Maybe it will be okay everything is done on-line.  But right now, we need people to show up.”

No amount of good work will translate into an ability to advance if we don’t recognize the need to develop relationships.  I like to think, despite what my girlfriend suggests, that the ability to build and grow a network and supporters is timeless.  Even when the whole corporate world becomes virtual, there is no substitute for face time.

Regardless of where you are in your career, your first job out of college or C-suite executive, putting in face time at events important to your colleagues, your employees, your bosses (and you always have a boss, even as CEO), your clients, and your supporters translates into strong relationships.  You remain relevant when you engage in informal, non office, conversations.  You become a trusted member of other’s circles.  You meet new people through these events which grows your networks to even further advance your career as well as brings personal fulfillment in having an interesting and diverse set of professional relationships.

Face Time.  It’s not just for iPhones.  It’s every woman’s career necessity.

Filed Under: Leadership Tagged With: face time, leadership, network

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