This week I wrote about the simple prayers the kids are learning to say, and how last weekend that prayer of gratitude so mirrored my spirit as I enjoyed our family time together. Well, this morning, I’m feeling awfully grateful for Bray. We had a rough night last night. The baby threw up, a lot, repeatedly, and then did not want to go back to sleep even though it was after 9 (who could blame him?). But it was all over the crib and me and him – a mess. So I got a load of laundry started while Bray sat with him and then I laid down with him while Bray put on new sheets. Then we had another round of him getting sick at midnight which kept us up. And then the eldest wailed inconsolably after 2 am until I would lay down with him. In the middle of all of this exhausting toddler drama, Bray was up and working. He was up during the sickness and then he tried to calm the eldest down and let me sleep (and had it not been for that maniac’s persistence that he would NOT stop crying until he saw mommy, it would have worked). He was PRESENT.
You get that, right? We’ve all been in relationships, whether family, friend, or romantic, where the other person is just phoning it in. They’ve already checked out. I’ve been there. I’ve been on both sides of that equation.
But last night, and all the nights before that, Bray is there. Present. Checked in. We have ups and downs, highs and lows, happy and sad, carefree and stressed, easy and hard, but regardless of which end of the spectrum we’re on Bray is clearing dishes, or waking up in the middle of the night with an upset kiddo, or changing light bulbs, or getting bills paid. They all seem like little things, but they are really big when you add them up. I heard this spoof done by a Christian comedian about the common complaints women have about their husbands – leaving their socks around or not putting the toilet seat down or letting the trash pile up, etc., and I turned to my friend and said, “Bray doesn’t do any of that stuff……….” Neither one of us is perfect, but we’re engaged. In our lives, in our marriage, in our responsibilities, in our kids.
I have felt, over these past few days, how many engaged people I have on my side. How much easier my life is because of them. I have a mom that will drop everything to come babysit so Bray and I can have a date. I have an assistant at work that is like a great girlfriend who just happens to make everything in your life run well. I have a set of friends that meet a panoply of emotional and spiritual needs – Amy, my prayer warrior, and Natalie, my mom buddy, and Mary, my best friend who does it all, and Kelli, my head out and have fun friend, and so many more. I have a nanny that allows Bray and I to work with out worrying that our kids are loved and well cared after. I have family here and beyond that love us and pray for us and support us. And I have Bray, and three kiddos, that love me unconditionally.
I have a lot of thank yous to issue to folks, and I encourage you to tell those in your life, on your team, how you couldn’t do it without them. I know I couldn’t.