On May 6, 2006, Bray and I took a huge leap off a huge cliff and said, “I do.” We were in our 30s and had dated other people but, after two and a half years, decided the other one was, “The One.” I am, overused as it is, more in love with him and more sure of my decision today than I was on that Saturday morning six years ago.
Here’s my recap of each year thus far (I’ve written in detail about our journey to a family previously, you can see those stories on the link that says “Our Story“):
The First Year – The year of adventure. That first year was so much fun. There really weren’t problems, we’d worked a lot of those out before we got married, so this year was a blast. We traveled a lot because a position I had and I still smile thinking about those months. We managed to hit Boston, Bar Harbour (Maine), Oahu and Kauai, Baltimore and D.C., Sedona and the Grand Canyon, Miami, and Montreal. Wow!
The Second Year – The dark year. We were really good together but that was when we were in middle of fertility treatments in earnest. We’d just gotten the bad test results and had gone through three IUIs and one IVF with no success. I’d gained weight and became pretty strung out from the drugs. The one constant and reassurance in my life was loving Bray.
The Third Year – The surprise year. What a nutty year this was. Bray and I were really doing well in our marriage, and we’d realized even more how strong our love was when the doctor found and surgically removed a tumor in my uterus. An IVF before that surgery, then an IVF after that surgery, and finally an ultrasound on March 31st before our May 6th anniversary that revealed we’d be adding three people to our family in the fall.
The Fourth Year – The year of I don’t know, it’s a blur. Pregnant, huge, bed rest, hospital, three babies, joy, worry, NICU, home eventually on monitors, sleeplessness, bottles, diapers, joy, worry, laundry, home A LOT, off monitors, doctors, healthy, sleeplessness, fuzzy.
The Fifth Year – The year of growing pains. This might have been our hardest year of marriage. We’d been blissfully in love before babies, and then blissfully thrilled to expand our family during the pregnancy, and then blissfully in love with the new babies but completely sleep deprived and everything else deprived. I think the chaos and change set in this year. We did a lot of work on us, after we didn’t do a lot of work, and I remember celebrating our 5th anniversary in New Orleans feeling like we were back to “us” and still very much in love.
The Sixth Year – The year of learning. We can really finally get out and “do” again now that the triplets are two. Just this weekend Bray was able to take the boys to the farm single handed & I could gallivant all over town with just the little lady. Having added back in some freedom has resusciated “us” a little too. I think when you as an individual starting losing yourself, you don’t have anything to give to your partner. Bray can go hunting now and I can go on a girl’s trip, and then we’re together as a family and stronger as a unit because we’re stronger as individuals. I’m looking forward to this next year and the ones that follow it.