The Fourth Year Love Letter

I still stand in awe of this day.  The most breathtaking day of my life.  I remember the night before, the doctor came in and told us that you were all over four pounds and that mommy was sick; if the tests weren’t better in the morning, October 2nd would be your birthday.

And then you came.  Nothing was ever the same again.

I went back and read your second year love letter last night.  Those pictures of you still stand true today (except W you have replaced S as our cleaner).  So much of your personality was formed as you grew inside of me.  It is a miracle.  One for which I will never have the words to express my gratitude to God who entrusted you to us.

Dear S,

Oh darling little man.  You continue to grow and amaze me.  You are such your mommy’s boy.  The one who wants to play the kissy game.  The one who doesn’t want me to leave at school drop off.  The one who wants to sit on my lap at movie time.  You have taught me a way to love with such abandon that I can never repay you.  Yet you are also such your daddy’s boy – in looks and interests!  And you are growing into your own individual.  You adore the farm and your grandfather and driving tractors and will not rest until you teach me how to drive one (Lord help us all).  You move at your own pace.  I know that it feels slow to me sweet boy, but I also know that is your way of processing.  You do things on your time and you will not be rushed.  I pray that you will always be your own man doing things on your own terms and standing strong against the crowd.  I continue to pray your life verse over your future, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

I love you with all my heart,

Mommy

Dear L,

My lovely, funny, energetic little artist.  Never have I seen a deeper love of music and song and dance in one so young.  You have no fear of adventure or of telling me like it is (why just last night you shook your finger at me when I suggested you were your baby doll’s momma – “Mommy, I am three!  I can’t BE a mommy!”).  As independent and brave as you are, you also are the maternal caretaker making sure all of your babies have clothes and blankets and love, and that just carries over into how you treat your friends with such care at school.  You love life so much that I pray your joy-to-overflowing splashes into all your future years.  I pray your life verse over you, “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ…”  Abound – how could I have known then how apt the word abound would be for my girl with boundless love and energy and passion and compassion.  May that translate into how you follow hard after Him.

I will love you forever,

Mommy

Dear W,

This photograph of you captures so much of your soul, you precious sensitive growing boy.  You are curious to capture all that the world has to offer around you.  Oh but you struggle with the depth of emotion in your heart.  Your anger is felt so deeply because you believe an injustice was wrought.  Your sadness is more acute because your feelings have been hurt.  But your joy, oh your joy.  And your love.  Deeper still.  You love and you express with limitless words everything you feel.  You will promise to plant me tulips in the spring because they are my favorite flower and promise to catch me tuna in the sea because it is my favorite fish.  You pursue kindness.  I pray your life verse over your today and your tomorrows because it is what will sustain you, “We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience…”  Endurance you will need to bounce back from all that life throws at you.  But you will take that fill from God and use it in ways to reach others as only you could.

I love you to the moon and back,

Mommy