I mentioned yesterday that it’s incredible (and incredibly frustrating) how many in my life have been assailed by negative messaging in the past week. In fact, even after my post published, I received calls from folks that had been under attack and wanted to thank me for a little encouragement in the midst of nearly being derailed. People with good will or ill, I don’t understand each of their supposed motivation, intent on tearing others down instead of building others up.
I can’t account for it. But there’s something I know. Even in the middle of the hurt, you have to find the good.
I have been in that spot before and it’s hard to do. But when someone says something bad about you, particularly if it is not constructive feedback or it is said as gossip to others, realize that’s a reflection of a weakness in their own life and let it go. Find what is good and retrain your focus there. It might an exciting work project. It might be your children’s next birthday. It might be a trip you have coming up. It may be something as simple as the gorgeous weather that allowed you to walk to lunch.
I heard a TED talk at an executive forum the other day that lined up so consistently with all the research I’ve seen on optimism and effective leadership. It’s about training yourself to focus on the upside. Bouncing back from setbacks because you know there’s good ahead. It’s, as Shawn Achor posits, the Happiness Advantage. Your intelligence and creativity increase when your brain is more positive – thus the advantage. This is the line that grabbed me:
It’s not necessarily the reality that shapes you – it’s the lens through which your brain sees the world that shapes your reality. {===>Click To Tweet}
This is more than just not dwelling on the negative. As Achor states, The absence of disease is not health. This is about finding the health. The video is about twelve minutes, concludes with a challenge, and it’s worth your time:
Great post Gindi. Shawn Archor’s book is very interesting, I recommend it. He also offers a Happiness Advantage Master Course, which I took last month and enjoyed. Let’s all be brand ambassadors for living happy lives!
Thanks Shavonnah – I haven’t read the book yet but it’s super interesting to me – how to train optimism….would love to hear about the course.