It is with a tremendous amount of excitement and delight I introduce today’s guest poster, my friend Christine Wright. Once a month I have the privilege of featuring a post from one of my God-sized dream buddies. Christine is like the sister I never knew I had. We both turn 40 this year (gasp!), both have three year olds (though she’s got more kids than me – double gasp!), and she will be my roommate at Allume (a bloggers conference I’m attending in October – this is me jumping up and down). I hope you love her wisdom and words as much as I do:
Back and forth the teeny little bird flew, searching for an escape. We’d just arrived at the picnic, but friends told us she’d been at it for hours. Unable to find her way out of the garage, the little hummingbird stayed at the very back, either perched on one of the two highest points, or in frantic flight between them.
It was terrible to watch, yet she captured the attention of the guests. Like a tennis match – all the heads would turn back and forth. Unsure what was keeping her from leaving the garage (all exit points were open), and not wanting to risk hurting her with a net, the guests could only watch and comment:
“Poor thing.”
“I don’t know why she won’t just fly out.”
“So sad.”
“She has to be exhausted.”
Then someone remarked her rest periods were growing longer. She was wearing out.
It was only when a kind man, climbed a step stool, and reached for her did she finally allow herself to be caught.
Or maybe she was just too weak to fight.
Maybe she’d finally come to the end of herself. She’d flown too long on a path that led to nowhere. Caught in a holding pattern of her own doing. Held there by nothing but her own will. Freedom possible, but not taken advantage of. Flying back and forth, seemingly in search of something that wasn’t even there. And doing it time after time.
For much of my adult life, I lived in a terrible place, but this was hidden from everyone except those closest to me. A big smile can hide a lot. A broken marriage. An ever-growing case of co-dependency. Depression. Even a shattered heart. Slowly I exhausted myself, never truly seeing the Answer was beside me all along.
Sure I knew God, but I hadn’t truly turned it all over to Him. Like the little hummingbird, I thought, “I got myself into this, I can surely get myself out.” And deep down wondering, “What could God ever do to change this situation? I think it’s hopeless.” Year after year, life grew worse still. I became more exhausted, not understanding the One I was resisting was the very One Who would also carry me to freedom.
Caught in a never-ending holding pattern.
Slowly God began to reveal Himself in the most kind, gentle ways. At the beach, I began to find exquisite large shells, laying right in the path of the many beachcombers – yet somehow undiscovered until I got there. And finding shark’s teeth – I never find those! Even in the birds that visited my backyard feeder {a white dove!}.
I started to see His hand everywhere. I had an appreciation for His movement I had not had before.
Little by little, as He called me home, and away from my own exhausting flight plans, I grew to trust Him with more. And to act in obedience to His calls, willing to risk failure, or embarrassment – anything – for the One Who gently held out His hand and rescued me from that never-ending flight.
Christine has a heart for broken women who hide it well. Women who find it impossible to believe God has a calling for them. Personally touched by such things as divorce, miscarriage, sickness and alcoholism, she has walked a pain-filled road and believes the places her own heart has broken are the places she can best help others. Her life verse is Joel 2:25, “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten…” Christine is married to Mr. Wright and has four children, ages 16, 14, 7 and 3. She loves writing, pants with crazy prints, a really good nap, walking the beach at early morning, and donuts. Lots of donuts. Christine blogs at www.livingjoel225.com.
This is so beautiful and true, Christine. I love how you share you heart so eloquently, but so utterly, totally, honestly. I, too, can be that hovering, frantic hummingbird, instead of allowing God’s loving hand to take me to safety. Thank you for this!
Thank you, Elizabeth. Let’s hope these two little hummingbirds make it to She Speaks without burning out before then – gah! : )
What a wonderful blog this is today. Personally having a very difficult day, good to be reminded of how destructive our own flight patterns can be. And how much we need the Ultimate Pilot Jesus to guide and direct, to point us to him and his ways. Because without Him we are so lost and quite capable of never finding the freedom He longs for us to have. Excellent writer, and wonderful woman.
Thanks Page, so praying this gives you encouragement today as you face battle.
You put that beautifully…He is Ultimate Pilot. Love that, Page.
More and more as I see your heart revealed I feel SOOOO blessed to know you and be a part of life with you!! How I wish the miles didn’t separate us!
Wouldn’t that be wonderful?? Can’t wait to see you in October! : )
Wow Christine, this was beautiful. The visual of the little hummingbird desperately trying to find her way out, that was so powerful. Thank you for being willing to show us your scars so others can heal, too. The marks of a warrior are sweet to her King.
“The marks of a warrior are sweet to her King.” Just beautiful. Thank you, Rosanne.
So beautifully written and so much truth to these words. It’s always a joy to read your posts, Christine. Be blessed as you have blessed so many others 🙂
Debbie
Thank you, Debbie. I’m sure you have quite a few hummingbirds stopping by your beautiful garden! : )
Thank you, Gindi. Love posting here – what a special day! Looking forward to hosting you!
I’ve never thought of one of God’s names as ‘Answer’ before… it’s a refreshing challenge to me today, to be content in not having answers, but to simply know the Answer. Thank you, Christine. 🙂
Rachael, talking about God answering…I started looking things up and was reminded of this…1 Kings 18:24-39 (specifically verses 24 and 37), the story of Elijah vs. the prophets of Baal. They both called, but God was the One Who answered! LOVE that so much!! : )
“Maybe she’d finally come to the end of herself.” Wow. Christine, I love how you make it plain. As I am feeling so very much at the end of myself right now, this came just in time.
Peace and good to you, sweet sister.
Chelle, that’s the exact place the miracle happens. Hold tight. He never fails. Praying for you…
This is SO GOOD Christine! I’ve often felt like that little hummingbird flying around doing everything I can to fix things myself, when it would have been so much easier to give it to God and let him fix them.
Just beautiful, Christine! It really struck me when you wrote that God began to reveal Himself in kind and gentle ways. For so long, I was caught in a pattern of of both striving hard myself and and expecting that God only wanted great sacrifice from me. I was so wrong, and I revel in His kindness and gentleness! Thank you for your story.